**** about a gurl** ( somethin quik)
 

ALRIGHT...


alrite this whole open mic is bout a gurl...that ive been checkin...and she feelin me back...but shes got a bf..his names kyle..my names kyle...ya ya...(so u can get a view of it) they aint workin...im takin her wit me (cuz thats the way it should be)\also we've dated 2 b4...but we was younger (so it was childish didnt work)thts in the chorus ya...ull get it

2 new experiences brings you,but somethings i wish i could un-do/
ur decisions is fine/but somethin bout u sends shivers down my spine/
i cant help to stare/i can't bare 2 share u..juss isnt fair/
trap'd emotions hard 2 take-it/ur the one i been lookin 4, i couldnt fake-this/
like middle school somethins couldnt clutch/like i can look but i cant touch/
friends can tell jokes like kyle timez two/but i only wat one me and one u/
i find it hard 2 believe im in ur sight/i wanna have u in my arms.now and every night/
flowers on ya bed 2 remind u of ne day/2 make it ez.i stay quiet but i got plenty 2 say/

short Chorus*
2 years and 2 timez now things spark and theres 2 guyz 2 stories and 2 sides/

we couldnt get thingz 2 sit well/ive been in the dark with no luv stories and nothin 2 tell/
last past weekz...h.s starts and thingz back-up like a ticket 2 hell/
u showin up was a tru greetings/im sry im puttin u on the spot, but it was a great thing..us meeting/
tried 4 some time now 2 get u alone/still i dont get 2 talk 2, much not even over tha phone/
i realize u need time 2 think/but i admit i stare 4 some timez eyes waterin 4 gettin 2 blink/
gurl theres somethin there i can feel-it/my hearts been tamper'd with ur the one 2 heel-it/
its time i step up, and prove ill be ur-man////and take ur breath away so u cant stand/
sometimes i ? my self am i sure/but wen i think i cant get it out of my head the site of her/
ive always liked u/juss how it is/but feelins R tough she takin in that and this/
u kno im there for you wen ever u need-2-be-sure/glad 2 be by urside cuz u deserve it thats how he should have treat'd-her/

short chorus*(repeat)
2 years and 2 timez now things spark and theres 2 guys 2 stories and 2 sides/

this was a good topic and a good flow. i liked the vocab and it flowed very well.

my favorite line
flowers on ya bed 2 remind u of ne day/2 make it ez.i stay quiet but i got plenty 2 say/

by the way= hope you get the gurl

holla at yo boi
~1~

^^thanx dawg

i hope'n 2....but she still my babygurl either way..

thanx 4 the feed..back

some more would be great

UPPIN 4 SOME MORE FEED BACK

GREATLY APPRECIATED

PEACE

ok, flow was good....vocab was decent, content was good....overall it was a nice drop...i was feeling it...stayed on topic the whole time and i felt what ya was saying...keep droppin and i hope shit works out for you and the girl...

o yea if you get a chance could you check out my latest open mic. i could use some more feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83967

HAHAHA shit this reminds me of how I stole my g/f from a freind name kyle.....hahaha damn

anyways nice drop....i could really sense you like'n this girl wich is dope. But your rhyme was tiight, nice word play, vocab was aiight, topic was tiight, all in all a nice drop...keep doin yo thang and snatch her up playa haha, 1