[Wk2] Phrantik vs Understatement
 

faced with decisions.. insides churn
i flip the coin and watch it turn
roatating slightly spinning its tale
telling a story, of how i will fail
day in day out.. i must find my escape
head to head with change, its no mistake
i choose not to gamble, i let fate by my guide
i wage war with my coins, but not pick a side
i dont choose my choices..as time flys by
i want to tear reality apart, but i just cant cry
endless hopes, lead my infinite desire
and i live standing up, but always a liar.
to die or to live, escape lifes immortal grief
i ask my coin but it does not speak
no answer for me? coins DO have two sides (?)..
but my coin has become me, and i cant decide
my coin with one side, a believer? he must
he looked straight at me and said.. "in god we trust"

prolly didnt put in enough
effor but im tired.. just read it
and find the deeper meanin in
almost every second line.

Flip, Catch, Flip, Catch The Coin In My Palm
Symbolism On It's Sides, As In A Biblical Psalm
Is It Wrong To Hate The Hands That Feeds?
The Game Is Over, I'm Forced To Concede
That The Grey Area Grows With Each Poem
Block With A Stone And Measure It In Ohms
And The Sight Grows Dim, Chances Grow Slim
Landing On The Same Side, Cleaner Than Vim
No Foul Play Here, No Monks Praying Here
The Coins Rotation Is Summit Of All The Fears
Everything We Stood For Is On The First Side
And Everything We Hate Follows And Derives
The Terms By Which We Will Live From Now On
What Do We Stand For? Nationalism Is Gone
When It All Ends, We're Stuck Along For The Ride
I Can't Even Flip My Coin, It's Only Got One Side

ahhh

no votes.. wtf?

ima go with understatement .
he stayed with the coin theme throughtout his verse.
tik came ok.. ive seen that emotion a lot before though..
i liked ya closer, US and the coins rotation line.
"i flip the coin and watch it turn".. simple but good line tik.
keep it simple. its better to read good simple verses with understanding in them than failed attempts at wordplay and punches.

I thought understatement's verse was more involved, but I prefered the execution of Phrantik's more. I enjoyed the dashes of wordplay, and a consistent emotion. He alluded to the multiple facets of wordage one could have with "coin". It was subtle and light, but kept ahold of a strong purpose. Never a heavy feeling of textceeing.

Vote - Phrantik

Tik. Your verse was interesting, the way u wrote was really different from others.
I liked the way u took the topic and what u made of it, ur flow was decent also.
Just felt like it was short, for some reason I think u could of gone alot farther, but it was good. .



I like how you came with this, u really exceeded vocab wise & ur flow was dope.
When u began the peice I was like 'whoa' this is gonna be good, i was dragged in by the begining.

Vote - Understatement

2-1..
laryan, thanks for the input
and lettin me know what you thought
of the wordplay..
feeble, stop writing if you think i
should keep it simple.. how'd you become
a mod, your a pathetic excuse for a writer..
keeping my thoughts deep and looking for the pun
in things is one of the main things i do in my verses,
well now thats all i do seeing everyone jacked my flip
story steeze... but seriously.. tellin me to keep it basic cause
your an idiot, doesnt put you very high on my 'people to pay
attention to list' i bet you rap about drugs and hustlers..
net thug... keep it simple.. fuck off.

phrantik u came nice, great even. Really good stuff but I just really feel that understatement murdered his shit. I would give him a 9.5 out of 10

...wow...

vote - understatement

Vote - understate


Feld he was more on topic and expressed better,...
nice vocab,..good flow, both came nice, ....under edge Tik, ..

first Off....Feeble Your Fuckin delusional man...Keep it Simple? Wow. Why are you in SS?

Tik: Good Verse...You Did The Topic Well..Seemed a Little Week in Some Spots but nothing too major.

Under: Good Verse as well. I just felt it alot better...

both of you guys had brilliant closing but Under gets the edge with some good topical stuff

badges? we don't need no stinking badges!
[closed]