[Wk2] Hi My Name Is vs WhiteLightning
 

checkin in to go 2-0

Take a Step Back And Look At The World
How Did Things Get So Blantently Unfurled
Teenagers Thinkin They Are More Mature
Lackin Respect, No More Yes Sir, No Sir
There Parents Can't See The Obvious
Doing Drugs, Gettin Drunk Completely Oblivious
The Consequences Are So Great, They'll Never Learn
Until They See Their Buddy In An Urn
Tears Where Shed, But They Were Preventable
Now That He's Gone, Everyone Get's Sentimental
He Would Never Hurt A Single Soul
His Death Is Taking An Immence Emotional Toll
They Celebrated The Turning Of Becoming Eighteen
Nobody Guessed It Would End In A Gory Crime Scene
Passenger Wasn't Wearin A Seatbelt
Went Through The Windshield, The Pain He Felt
When You Die, Your Life Flashes Past Your Eyes
Did He Get To Enjoy All Of Life's Emotional Highs
Or Did He See Not a Single Thing At All
He Just Past Without Knowing, His Parents Got The Call
They Arrived For The Sole Purpose To Identify
The Bag Was Unzipped and They Started To Cry
This Day Was Unexpected, Worst Nightmares Now Real
They Experience What Other Parents Had To Feel

TWIST:
Sorry Mommy and Daddy, The Last Thing I Wanted You To Go Through
My Death Was a Premature Escape, I Wasn't Due
People Will Judge Me On This Tragic Event
It Gives Them a Reason To Gossip, An Unspoken Consent
I Can't Do Anything To Make These People See
The Image of My Death Was a Mistaken Identity

*Dedicated To All Teenagers Who Have Perished In Tragic Accidents*

Complicated, Assumed to be switched wit my darkside,
While the good of me replies witin me anti-homicide,
Realistically, My other side resembles my life of hunger,
Every time i got the chance to seek a bite to grow stronger,
Drastically, The outcomes of a solution has fallen short,
Along wit my misory it's eatin my brain till i'm a corpse,
Remorsed, The troubled days my family said they can't take that,
Now my mom thru me out the front...n there's no gettin back,
Frustrated, Addrenaline injected into my system like octain,
My brain n soul consumin the fuel to resume these strains,
Cramped, My muscles can't handle the intense contractions,
It leaves me like a bannana...I'm splittin my thoughts n actions,
Collapsin, I'm meltin like the wicked witch of the west,
Only if i had a broom than this knife puttin me to rest,
Parralell, It's like i'm runnin the footsteps of suicide bombers,
But this time i'm takin my own life...not those of others...

Somebody stop him, It's his Schizophrenic taking place,
Only if i had a voice in this, but no1 hears my case,
I'm the good in you, Release anger upon another object,
Just not ya wrist dude, There's a future due to project,
I hope i'm not too late, But the good in you is all used up,
At least that's what your doin, Tryna act hardcore n tough,
But, This ain't the way to go, Suicide only results in hell,
How, How the hell would you like not havin a story to tell,
Memories to reveal, What your takin away...is more than i can deal,
They say the good guys win, Though your death letter is sealed

this was good......

first off lemme break down WL

"TWIST:
Sorry Mommy and Daddy, The Last Thing I Wanted You To Go Through
My Death Was a Premature Escape, I Wasn't Due
People Will Judge Me On This Tragic Event
It Gives Them a Reason To Gossip, An Unspoken Consent
I Can't Do Anything To Make These People See
The Image of My Death Was a Mistaken Identity"

this i think was really good i liked the whole twist u put on it to sho another side of the situation .......voerall that was the best part in ur verse.....the other lines were good too i liked these aswell

"They Celebrated The Turning Of Becoming Eighteen
Nobody Guessed It Would End In A Gory Crime Scene
Passenger Wasn't Wearin A Seatbelt
Went Through The Windshield, The Pain He Felt
When You Die, Your Life Flashes Past Your Eyes
Did He Get To Enjoy All Of Life's Emotional Highs"
~~~~~~good shyt overall id give this a 8/10~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My names break down verse-

"Somebody stop him, It's his Schizophrenic taking place,
Only if i had a voice in this, but no1 hears my case,
I'm the good in you, Release anger upon another object,
Just not ya wrist dude, There's a future due to project,
I hope i'm not too late, But the good in you is all used up,
At least that's what your doin, Tryna act hardcore n tough,"

this was good i liked it...nice creativity

"Memories to reveal, What your takin away...is more than i can deal,
They say the good guys win, Though your death letter is sealed"

very nice closer.....id give this verse a 7.8/10
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

overall i think this goes to WL.....no hate just his verse was a lil better good shyt from both.....1

Hi My Name Is Improved Here
But I Dont Think It Was Enuff To Match
Whitelightning Here.. White Had The Story
And Good Imagery, While Hi Lacked Creativity
And THe Imagery That WL Had

Honest Vote - WL

ok, lets be honest.....this battle was nothing special, tha verses were merely solid, neither emcee had a good rhymes scheme, and most of tha tyme no solid flow, i liked tha similies in hi my name is verse betta, but Whitelightning told a betta story, tha twist was ok...even though it was merely another perception from another angle, you went from third person to first person W.L.

W.L. - rhyme scheme - 6, story - 7.5, flow - 6.5, total- 20
H.M.N.I. - rhyme scheme - 6, story - 6.5, flow - 7, total - 19.5

close battle, but my vote goes to W.L.
H.M.N.I you would have taken W.L. but you ruined it with tha end of your verse


try elevatin flow or rhyme scheme, i'm not hatin, just statin opinion, peep my ish, stay real, peace, 1

whitelightning wins
[closed]