[Wk2] Addlibb vs Mystery Murdera
 

yea, i got somethin real for this... my life has taken a downfall recently... I got some stuff to get off my chest...

In this...........

This Is An Extended Metaphor...Rushed again but oh well i'll have somethin better next week.

Over The Hillz

Johnny- 17

Wanted Some Play, But He Started A Trickle From Youths Fountain
Pushed Over n Through Some Hills, The Dirt He Dug Didnt Spill
- It Grew To A Mountain
Sarah
She Tried To Hide Her Bluez, But Inside She Felt Deprived N Used
For She Too Had Drank The Trickle Now Her Stomach Carries Somethin
Besides The Food
Beside The Food, Theres A life Beating, Growing - Some Strifes Seeding
Beholding The Trickle Thats Now Leaking, Hearts Pounding - Beating
Johnny
He's Seen It On The Screen Breathing, Leak, Trickle, An Inkling
What It Was, It's Now His... Over The Hill, 50 Years In The Awe And Wow Of A Kid
Surgery Room, Searchin For Room, The Doctors Takin It Out Then...
The Hillz Seem Smaller, Jonny Reaches Out Smilez n Carresses The Mountain
With A Smile N It Seems So Clear, He Feels The Pure No Fear
Seems All It Took Was A Mountain To Cure The Hill

Congregated aside this unhospitipal landscape...
Lies a man, tattered and worn..discombobulated in mindstate
On his journey, torturous perils he faced...he held together
Never did he once complain about the wheather
Pushed on, kept posture and rhythm..not once knocked from position.
Held his vision on pulling through and surviving
Holding in the need for water and food he was desperatly striving.
........
..............
.....But eventually the conditions forced him, to a struggle
Cold set in, and his mind was betrayed in attempt to juggle..
Stress with physical breakdown...but he wasnt prepared to breakdown.
Held it down.....kept moving....His fingers black and stale
Eyes drying out, mind souring and skin very pale...
Sleet, snow and hail, he pushed those final few feet to scale,
Arose over the snowy ridge, When out of exhaustion he collapsed.....
and his heart did fail......


^My interpretation of a true story of of an old man who got lost and
walked 17 miles in the cold snowy climate of the northern welsh hills (not snowdonia)

Pz.

respectable drop by both, they could have been longer but.....
i lyked both verses, tha battle was close, i usually dont see verses like mystery murderaz but.....ish was hott

myster murdera - rhyme scheme- 8, story - 8, flow - 7, total - 23
addlib- rhyme scheme - 7, story - 8, flow - 7, total - 22

Mystery murdera gets my votes, nyce battle, no hate, peep my ish when you fellaz get a chance, stay real, peace, 1

im trying to vote on every battle in here... to help out understatement... but this ones too hard...
i didnt like this topic as soon as i read it.. seems like it was difficult to pick something interesting.. the verses both seemed like yall were in a hurry.

lib- your flow was off in some places... again i didnt feel the tipic. it was aite.

same for you, MM.. cept flow wasnt off.. the topic was shaky. both ur imagery was the same kind.

i say tied. lol. no help, so basically this is my feedback .

MM-rushed again? for god sakes, if you were rushed and your produced that, I want to see how dope you are with no rush. I didn't get it. The symbolism and metas seemed really good thought. I thoroughly appreciated the over the hill reference thought it gave me something to push off of for the rest of the verse lol. Great concept, little understanding. You need to elevate your flow.

Lib-You had a nice concept, and I liked the whole "based on a true story" steez. It had a great message, the perseverence thing, but I dislike things that end in death since it has become rather commonplace now. You need to work on your flow.

vote-MM

M~m- I was feeling the way u did this
pretty deep...and metas were dope.

Add-didnt really like the way u flipped it
but iit was a pain in the ass topic anyways

vote-M~m

I liked the abstract nature of MM's verse. It had impact that I didn't feel from Lib's. Good description in Lib's verse which did hinge on imagery, but I wasn't that captivated by the story. Both stayed on topic very well. Lib had a more latent flow, to be sure.

Vote-Mystery Murdera

thanx 4 the votes, uppin

Feeble is kinda dumb ...look they both writin on one topic, ...k?
W.e


M~M
Took this, ..vocab,...flow, ..the way of expressin towards the topic, was beter than Lib did, ..both had ok verses, ...but M~M stayed in my eyes more on topic, ..and by that edged, ...lib
Nice reads tho

Vote - M~M

Mystery Murdera wins.
[clizzosed]