a distraught life
 

leave me alone as i sit in the corner
without hope i live this strange life
no continuation of dreams for me
with the thoughts of anger runnin thru my head
and the abundence of hate around
like a tail spin ima end up in the ground
the sound that pounds ur ears like a hammer
life brought this unsuitable manner
without the power in my hands
life will sink into the depths, like quick sand
as we run from our problems
and never face our fears
we look at life
and drown in tears
when all seems lost
who and what will be found
open ur eyes look around
as life twists and turns
we sit alone and learn
so leave me be as i ponder my foul ways
and reload the thoughts of pain thru my days

Nice piece. Was worth the read. Like the ryhme scheme you used in the piece. This could have several meanings. It all depends on the reader. Keep writing. I will continue to post on your writings to give you feedback on them.

MM

^

This was indeed nice. It seemed sharp and on point. The rhyme scene wasn't really rigid. So though i recognised it, it didn't disrupt the piece.

The imagery was good. Solid. Strong. And a smooth flowing personal depth.

I liked reading it. And though i'm sure it has it's flaws. I don't wish to point them out. Cos i read it how it was.

...resp...

thx......lookin for more feedbak