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-   -   .:.:My DreaM:.:. (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=84586)

DiverseSyndicate 10-10-03 06:34 AM

.:.:My DreaM:.:.
 
back in tha days it was diff-e-rent, innocence was what we had, no guns, no sex, no bags//

no difference if we were labeled wit tags, fabeled to be sad, but we cradle our schwag//

but back then we didnt toke weed, we had no need-cuz, our imagination pleased-us//

we had plastic guns and a swing-set, in the apartments back when we didnt bling-yet//

as if we even bling now, but i bling in tha rhymes that i shout, always turnin up tha beats too loud//

back then we listened to da dip and tag-team, in tha car wit our moms for we even had-green//

as if we even have green, some of us have jobs and stay mad-clean, but tha rest of us wish we had-dreams//

dreams are made through visions of your self in action, at night i see my self in dreams rappin, seems that things-happen.

WORD~PERFECT 10-10-03 06:38 AM

deep
to short though
the poit weas made but generalized you needed more of story format.....
as if we even have green, some of us have jobs and stay mad-clean, but tha rest of us wish we had-dreams//
i felt that like a pinched nerve cause i can relate,
tight spot from you just extend some more...
peep my work if you get a chance

KingOfKings 10-10-03 10:12 AM

good concept, flow kinda off and wouldnt help to put more work into it

overall, a good drop, cud b better tho


1

peep ma open mic
[url=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=84427]The Struggle[/ulrl]

DiverseSyndicate 10-10-03 08:01 PM

uppin ^^^~1~

Provoked Images 10-10-03 08:05 PM

it was aight, good concept but work off it more, let tha deepness of tha flow go DEEPER in tha SOUL, if it were longer u could've added more complexety as well, jus keep droppin...

Menik 10-10-03 09:18 PM

Yeah i agree...this was a good drop...it flowed alright through out the piece, got off sometimes but still a good read...vocab was good...your content was good i could relate to some of your lines...overall it was a good drop...keep at it and keep dropping.

and if you could drop some feedback..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84642

yog_dogg 10-11-03 01:37 AM

yeah i agree to this drop was pretty ill and the flow went well and the vocab was well and it didnt flow in and out it was just smooth nice drop dawg keep em comin

gotaloveforrap 10-11-03 02:12 PM

i was feelin that, i woulda liked if u had made it a little longer, but other than that the vocab and wordplay were good, the content and topic were both pretty original, that was a nice deep post, keep droppin homie, i was definetely feelin that.

peace......

DiverseSyndicate 10-11-03 02:44 PM

i appreciate tha replies.uppin^^^


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