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-   -   Held By A Thread (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=84697)

-Magnitude 10-10-03 04:59 PM

Held By A Thread
 
Held By A Thread

Endless dreams leading to obsene Scenes of Death,
feeling Exhaust and the strong pulls of Lifes Thread.
Over the Hills are Towering figure who force my Will,
& every Breath I use, draws to conclude lifes fufilled.

Contorted lies, that distorted my life & ruined Dreams,
looking In the Distant veiws knowing all cant be Seen.
Persistant tries, to survive but I suffer to remain Alive,
to See myself Fading into darkness layer, im deprived.
Want to hide, from the faces who see my glazed eyes,
because it hurts inside, knowing they all will see me die.
Lost in time, I ignore the pain & remain to believe fate,
but its Hard knowing life is on a Thread At Its Stake....

Sharpness strikes, my dreams take control of the scene,
seeing Many faces I love and will Miss in this Death beam.
Quiting isnt an option, but in my standings im Tempted,
bad thoughts Addobted, Hearts beat is close to Ended.
This sequence is wrong, interpreted Songs, Fear Souls,
cant remain in control, Deaths enters. .its carpet Unrolls.
I continue my struggle to remain walking with the undead,
but the Thinner it gets, Im finally cut Down by Lifes Thread.

JohnnyWatts 10-10-03 05:40 PM

wow nice junk

-Magnitude 10-10-03 06:09 PM

uppin for some real feedback please. .

Da_Renegade 10-10-03 06:27 PM

its alright, an okay simple flow, no really hot multis or anything to quote

vocab cud b better

good concept to say tho

7/10

cud be better

yog_dogg 10-11-03 01:01 AM

yeah i am wit my man Da Renegade it could use some multis

yog_dogg 10-11-03 03:21 AM

hey y'all this is to everybody return the favour and check out the heated battke between gotaloveforrap and yog_dogg

Accelerate 10-11-03 10:26 AM

I Don't Know What These Guys Are Reading.

The Flow-WAs Pretty Good, I Got Confused A Lil bit, but thats Cuz Im type Lost, But The Flow Was Good And The Structure was Easy To Follow

My Opinion is That This Didn't need Multies Or Anything Extra. This Was A Dope Piece, It Expressed Alot Of Confused Actions, And You Ripped The Topic. Basically This Was A Dope Piece, Maybe Not ANything Extraordinary But It Was Excellent In Alot Of Ways, And Good In Showing Off Alot Of The Talent. The Topic Was A Bit Confusing, But You Made It Work Out. Nice Piece.


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