gurls i luv ya...(but the ugly wuns GOT 2 GO)
 

blow ya body up and leave u de-parted/
yo, man wat stinks u can blame me but trully he-farted/
triple vision couldn't get u 2 see me more/
bitch u can like me...but i dont like skanky whorez/
u got nothin on me..but u juss can believe u got me/
u can call me cute.but thats all wrong im a hotty/
yo..older chix dig me..but u juss r way 2 into-me/
i'll tell u off u just a bother..i say it wit out sympathy/
i dont care if..get down good juss stay 1 a-far/
theres nothin u cand do, but wish on invisible star/
luv me care 4 me but keep ur distances/
tie u up, and leave u left with tighting resistances/
fatal drops cradle ur wen ur heart stops/
info throwz u back,that i dont care u juss nothing/
man..u say i said i luv'd..bitch i was drunk i was juss bluffing/
aint ur man..aint ever gonna have 2 care 4 u/
leave now find a new man 2 do this to/
im annoy'd its like workin wit a trainie, wen i hate bein employ'd/(like havin 2 teach somebody wen u dont wanna be ther ne wayz)
shock ya..leave u left in the dust..stair'n thust far..and the noise of ur tick-tock/
makin ya cry...man u like me but other ladies will be datin this guy/
there by stand alone/never have me even if my clone braught u home/
leave now theres no more here 4 u 2 look for/

*RLLY GETIN MEAN*

ur a trashy whore..kick'd u ass through ur own door/
disease galore covern ur body like dust on the floor/
i would never say shit like this 2 a real lady/
but makin exeptions in ur casy cuz ur a bitch wit rabies/
foam'n at the lips*wat* sick gurl go back 2 the zoo. 2 live wit the chimps/
even ugly players pass u by 2 afraid 2 see wat they mite find/
u name it she's got it/trailor trash true..but she thinks shes hot-shit/
shit's on the chest of scare'd boy/pussy wit teach no wonder shes got tar'd toys/(bit her dildo)
wat 2 do, man she got a tatoo but behind thoze bumps it harder then tryin 2 find wal-do/
hit top of the nasty meter/bitch even canibals would'nt eat-her/
treat her 2 death/but the clean up was unbarable a disease fest/
dont wit the rest/she worse then a pest won't ever be a welcom'd guest/

ENDIN THE NITE WITH A TRIP 2 THE BATHROOM/

runnin hard 2 get to the toilet/cuz i was havin fun..but she came and spoil'd-it/
throwin up all over the place/her face scares me 2 death..looks worse then gurl drown'd 2 death ina murder case/
yo can't take it ur disgusting/throw water on u like the bitchy witch and get u rusting/
u could'nt flame cuz so many things keep u fire proof/
choose ya fate...either way ur gonna dissapear wit poof/
ur days are dun over/not even a dawg would do it wit u even if it wasnt sober/
u come closer i run faster..u say bastar'd i ask did u get run over my a lawn mower/
i mean bitch u juss a mistake/all i can take..time 2 slit ya throat and thown u in the lake/
stone around ur waist/double knotted jus n case, i feel bad for polutin the water wit ur bodies toxic waste/

its done all over time 2 live n peace/cuz this ugly thing gone from our life..photo in the paper white'd out..under neath we glad she diseace/

lol that verse was pretty sikk man, lol cuttin up the ugly girls FO SHOOOOOOOO lol

the last line was nice, and i like the line about not likin being employed...i got it without having to read the explanation, it was hot.

take a look at mine "MC Rated G"

peace

ill as topic, yet so real........lol.......that was hella good dawg.......u had some nice vocab and wordplay.....next time i suggest fitting in a few more multis, but its all good.........ur content and topic were pretty original.......i havent seen to many posts suggesting to cut up the ugly girls.........overall tight drop homie, keep postin

peace........

^I guess you didn't read it.
this was wack. hate to break it to you, but it was 3 verses of basic wordplay, terrible flow, and a stupid topic. write about something more meaningful. If you need practise join the topical league.
I can't even be bothered to help you, sorry. I'm just gonna say, you need to elevate everything.

ahh but i did, and personally i thought it wasnt that bad.....just my opinion though.......we dont gotta think alike homie........just voicin my opinion.....thats what open mic is for.........no beef or hate though........just sayin that i did read it.......

peace........

that was mad ill
keep on postin
great voab and wordplay
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

thanx guyz..that other kat....

w/e u think dawg

i dont hate..only herb'z hate...

thanx all

lookin 4 some more feed back

peace

im not hatin but this piece was kinda off, you had alright wordplay average vocab, no rhyme scheme what so ever, tha story u portrayed was jus hatin, and you had no multis either, this flow could have used a prereading and some more work, no hate jus my opinion.keep elevatin.~1~

LAUGHS***

WALKS AWAY

YO i was feelin that i liked it check ya pm

^^^ YEA BUT YOUR A fAG
so it dont matter

what tha fuck I'll rip your ass up any day in a battle lets do it fuckin bitch