Line of Emotion
 

I sit here wanting for something to happen
Something happens but its makes it worse
I was told everything happens for a reason
Well im waiting to find the reason for this

Lately everything is going wrong
Everything is worse for the wear
Nothing can help me now
Im riding on the line of emotions

Emotions run through my head constantly
Like a wild river rapid
All the things I think of kill me inside
I cant stop it from coming up

My feelings are way to strong to pass
My mind is pulling me in a million directions
I cant make up my mind on things
I cant stride this line of emotions much longer

I can feel myself falling into the pit of despair
And I know there is no way out of there
The only way is to make the change
The change it to make it better

This line of emotions is killing me inside
I cant hurt the ones I love
I cant do anything right
All I can do is step aside and watch

Watch as my life goes down the tubes
Like a dead faceless fish flushed down the crapper
You fall into a downward spiral
You hit rock bottom, laying in a pool of blood

You finally realize its all over
You have lost the war
You loose everything in your life
All because of a little line of emotions

MM

this was a unique piece, the way you put those million thoughts in you head down on paper turned out real well, you vented pain and confussion and still kept up with structure made it a good piece

I sit here wanting for something to happen
Something happens but its makes it worse
I was told everything happens for a reason
Well im waiting to find the reason for this

^ your intro was what drew me in, its seems that alot of us anticipate something and when it comes, we dont know why, if it even had a purpose, but the answers usualy do come

Lately everything is going wrong
Everything is worse for the wear
Nothing can help me now
Im riding on the line of emotions

^we all have those times right, everythings a mess and theres no way it will all just dissapear. this part here brought out what i thought was the back bone of the piece the line of emotions, i loved that line and thought

Emotions run through my head constantly
Like a wild river rapid
All the things I think of kill me inside
I cant stop it from coming up

^ you started refering to whats happenig with you to things that everybody knows what they are, and did a good job with it too made it smooth and fit together

This line of emotions is killing me inside
I cant hurt the ones I love
I cant do anything right
All I can do is step aside and watch

^ throu out the piece it seems like the line is slowly advancing on you and things are coming to an end, so when the poem ends it didnt make it feel like there should have been more in between you filled it in good

Watch as my life goes down the tubes
Like a dead faceless fish flushed down the crapper
You fall into a downward spiral
You hit rock bottom, laying in a pool of blood

^ i know it was meant to be a sad piece, but when i read crapper i couldnt help but smile, but once again you refered to what was happing to things everybody can relate to and did a good job at it

You finally realize its all over
You have lost the war
You loose everything in your life
All because of a little line of emotions

^ and then the end of a great poem, and it finihed the poem off good

check out my "why..."

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Tera, I luv the way you broke my poem down piece by piece and put your comments in there. Im glad you liked my piece and I hope to hear from you soon.

MM

Wow, great piece. This is one of your best. I can totally relate to it. Especially there being a million thoughts in your head and not knowing what to decide. You vented what seems to be sadness and pain. The ending was great. Overall I loved it. Like I said, great piece. luv and respect. Keep droppin hun.

Thanks for your thoughts Angel. I really like the feedback so keep it coming.

MM