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-   -   First Freestyle (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=85800)

AbbyNinja 10-15-03 08:08 PM

First Freestyle
 
This is my first freestyle, giv me some feedback on what u think.

They call me ninja coz i am quick,
and slick,
and i don't giv a shit,
and when i'm on da mic,
i don't rhyme polite,
i don't ride a trike like snoop and x who ride da mic,
and rhymes are tight,
and are ready 2 fight,
all day and night,
so mans in da dark are shifty,
and mans are playing hard like 50,
so they can play da game,
and have da fame,

MonStar 10-15-03 09:04 PM

ok, you got some work to do....flow needs work...work on your structure, like try and make your lines around the same length....and try and lengthen your lines also...also try to add some multies to help with the flow....vocab needs work...your vocab was really simple and could us alot of uppin....content, nothing really original and kinda boring...you got some work to do but keep dropping and you'll get better....the more you write the better you'll get....

Dirty Sally 10-15-03 09:10 PM

^^^^
Exactly what he said.

Just stay active, keep dropping verses and your sure to elevate.

Sureal 10-15-03 09:14 PM

You Suck.

-ElocuShun- 10-15-03 09:16 PM

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^lol^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^nah freestylin is an art.....ya jus gotta learn more............good effort anyways.........i salute ya for tryin

e.coli 10-15-03 10:27 PM

yeah good effort. you need to look at some other peoples open mics or battles so u can get a feel for what they should look like. just keep droppin open mics u will get better.

keep elevatin
...................................
holla

Deadly Game 10-15-03 11:02 PM

u suk
that is all

Deadly Game 10-15-03 11:02 PM

u needa get more mulites in it
ut u overall are horiblle
clsoe this shit
this kids weak

Deadly Game 10-15-03 11:03 PM

his flows he thiks sins ya
but it aint heat u jsut a japanese ninja
thinkin u ill cuz u spit wit bars
but its just them fukin sars

DªÖ 10-15-03 11:05 PM

stop freeposting.
or get banned.
by the way kid if this is how u free then this is how u free
but just work on a style u like
not what other cats do. but whatever. go learn.

Sureal 10-16-03 12:46 AM

^Dont Pretend To Be A Mod, Or get Banned. Hoe.


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