Company Memo
 

It's kinda long but real funny...

Company memo reguarding early retirement

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.

This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate. If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum Assistance Payment) unless he/she already has AIDS (Additional Income from Dependents or Spouse). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand. And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.

The Management

omg, lol

nice find dawg.

That was beautiful, and I can actually see that becoming a policy in some big business. Where'd you find that? Anyway, nice post, lol.

Lol man funny as fuck great post Young

yea....thanx folk...yea i was just searching.......

and found it dude........but yeah....like.....

keep postin..lol

yep...
pz....

->Je@!<-

lmao....funny shit.....

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lol...I laughed like the whole way through it...funny stuff lol

^Cock and keeps ducking all my call-outs, officially a herb....


Kinda seen somin like it b4, but still a iight find....


pCe

funjny............................................ ..............................................

^IT'S BROOK!

^^^
funny shit youngblood.

LMAO, reminds me of my relationship with my girlfriend for some terrible reason.

lol hell naw that shit was funny as hell

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That has to be embarrasing for tha company, lol i aint laugh so hard in awhile. Nice find
~1~