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-   -   Wondering (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=86096)

Miami305 10-17-03 01:37 AM

Wondering
 
I walk alone…..soul-less
…..in a devil’s paradise….
I’ve been told to rise…
and dry the cries from my eyes…
But lies are magnified…
Eventuating my despise…
As I take the time ~2~ hesitate…
Feel the hate….
and calculate…
the mistakes I’ve made…..
But from the moment I awoke at birth …
I’ve been digging an early grave….
As I walk solitary….
I feel free….
I don’t want Angel’s to follow me….
Or lead me…
Or show me the way…..
I’ve lived my life in vein…
In pain…
and the strain has FORCED me to live another day, but,
As I feel the air today….
Thoughts of painful memories disappear…
I no longer feel the fear…
I feel alive inside as I wonder here….

filed 10-17-03 03:32 PM

seems like a simple piece but i feel theres more to it that hasnt opened to me

the beginning was good
it seems that ppl find themselves always walking alone
and thinking that they dont like it
like you showed in the beginning
but then further on you mention the angles
not wanting them to show you the way
or lead you
so your saying that now you want to walk alone

you've been hurt, and probly by your own mistakes
but now you have someone or a reason telling you
to get up and move on
and even thou the piece seems like its going to keep going down
at the end you actually do feel like keep living

anyway thats some of what i get from it, and it was a good personal piece, and seemed to have a slow soft flow and it gave the piece a good sound. and the short rows, you didnt over do the words and make it more then it needed to be, made it a simple piece, nice piece

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Miami305 10-18-03 02:59 AM

thank u filed for being so so kind n responding to this bullshit of a poem i did...stay up..

DiverseSyndicate 10-18-03 05:03 AM

ill piece, short simple but very emotion felt, real life type shit, vocab was there, structure was there, length lacked,but you stayed on point, keep droppin tha hotness.~1~


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