Forgotten Fear (1st piece here)
 

Tides crash and waves pass over the essence of a lives' tasks.
He rides fast. The vast cries echo through the paths of lies masked.
A dying wish asked. Living life in the whispered tracks of damaged ghosts.
The damned float through memories of ravaged hope; bandaged throats.
Clad in cloaks for solitude amongst the masts of majestic ships.
Chasing deceptive myths buried deep within locked souls in heaven's grips.
"Fight for honor; never ponder where glory lies in adventures yonder"
Attempts to glide on somber waters. Bleeding legacy of dying fathers.
Men in war, fleeting from giant shadows standing over lives of passion
He hides in action while pressures preside over courage in an undying fashion
Lost upon the iris' in a blinding attraction. traversing a mind caged in time
But forged inside is an aged design to ride waves devine and peruse rhythms of rhyme,
Explore wisdom in shrines crafted by gods imprisoned in the existence of minds
Disguised in resistance to pride; unleashing the horses to give the freedom to ride
Against will, afraid of death, only to realize that life is the intrusive tomb,
An abusive womb, then be borne into the hands of eternity and rely on dominant prominence
Feared being branded weak for pondering what the word solace meant

Honor lives in the trenches, creeping out when courage and acceptance are revealed
In pivotal fields of battle, scars are healed only when the scripts of life are licked and sealed

yo this is pretty good but some of this shit didnt rhyme....no hate but keep ya head up and dont give up.....i gave feedback cuz i know how it feels when its ya first drop and u wanna know what peeps think about it.......im just givin straight and true feedback aight.....

which parts didn't rhyme?

this wasn't nuthin to write home about, but it had some goodpoints , ya flow was ok and the structure was alright. other han that it was an average drop from a newb.........

thnx...but i am not a "newb"...please tell me why/where and how my flow is "ok"...
thank u

These Kids Are Stupid, Dont Listen To These Wacc Ass 50 Cent Wanna Be Herbs.. This Was Actually Pretty Nice.. Had Nice
Imagery, Nice Vocab.. Iight Flow.. But Overall I Give This An 8/10.. Keep Dropping!!