lifenish
 

when i first tried to start sumthan,anythin it was like he diddnt want me to complete it damn//
tryin to finish it but neva suceeded, growin up tried to starve and was jus force feeded//
life pushed shit in my life tryin to take it all bak, regretin certain things waitin but it felt like my blls neva dropped outa meh sack//
but when i found a love i was fnally completed, or at least i thought until shit started to git heated//
turned on me and went with, was it sumthan i did wat made your life so dim//

**Chorus x2
spent my life learnin and burnin//
makin mistakes and doing many retakes//
loved ya my family ta//
but i done spent my life learnin and burnin//**

At the age of thriteen caused more shit that i could take in,
did shit wit her anyways even tho i wasnt supposed to be datin//
life seemd to think i was sumthan that could be recycled,
father sayin and preachin to be like god in the bible//
fucked that shit neva listened to him anyways,
now rethinkin i shoulda listened to him thos manydays//
Sneakin out every once and a while,
it was fun for a bit till it all jus became too wild//
started riots and violence not learnin till lata down the road,
spent nights locked outside in nothin but the cold//

**Chorus x2
spent my life learnin and burnin//
makin mistakes and doing many retakes//
loved ya my family ta//
but i done spent my life learnin and burnin//**

Seventeenth birthday and ive thought bout the past
relizin that shit ive been lucky that ive lasted//
gotten into fights and accidents neva relized till i was in a hospital, but then charges filed with cause that was probabal//
put in jail at fifthteen for stealin shop liftin was a must,
noone on my block i could trust//
but now that im out at my parents house,
i feel so alone trapped like trap that has da mouse//
but I
**Chorus x2
spent my life learnin and burnin//
makin mistakes and doing many retakes//
loved ya my family ta//
but i done spent my life learnin and burnin//**


v

omg that was off flow like woah, that was whack practically cus there is no flow at all, sorry but you need tot elavate badly i think

iight good honest reply that tech was my first actually open mic peice so thanks fo thfeedbak

yeah this flow was off. i feel some serious elevation is needed. try to rhyme a lil bit in your flows. also try and throw in some metas and multies. check the emergancy whackness thread if u need any help.

holla

i agree that the flow was a bit off, but it wasn't that bad, i didn't think the hook was too good though, and the whole thing just seemed emotionless, like it was forced............but its only criticism, keep droppin!....................