the new way to change
 

as i step to the line im about to cross the boundary that is designed~
about to find what ive never envisioned in my mind~
lightning thrashes in the air never knowing what will hit ya~
what will split ya and criss cross ya to get the picture~
vile rhymes finds the place in the heart to start somethin great and beats like a go cart~
never knowin what will hit you like a dart knockin bitches off the chart knockin their brains smart apart~
chemical gases blockin the path to decrease the deficit on the map to gain land and overcome what you need~
to succeed you must feed your brain the knowledge to read~
understand the concepts and deny the intercepts that crosses your pathway~
as long as it aint stray you need to find the way out and not kill like tim mcveigh~
dyin leaves you torn apart and flesh eaten wounds left to rot~
it dont get you alot just pot cloggin like a clot~
you must enhance the endurance to burn that will turn around everything you get what you deserve to get that shot~
or that one spot to fill what is true and can change to new or bring old to new with a little spice to chew~
change what has never grew to something different to get used to~

feedback please

yeah, thought this was ok, i liked the content, what you were saying, but i thought the structure was a bit weak, buyt it still flowed good.....

to succeed you must feed your brain the knowledge to read~

i liked this line......nice!

it was alrite, alittle plain though..............................didn't capture my levitz

Yeah i agree...it was ok...your structure could have been better, a bit weak...it flowed alright though as i read it...your vocab was alright too...content was good i thought...try to make your lines the same length though....but overall it was a ok drop...keep at it..and keep dropping.

and if you could return some feedback..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=86721

lol

this piece was aiight, there wasnt a topic and if there was u fell off, structure was average, rhyme scheme was on an up and down scale, vocab was aiight a bit repetitive,other than that this was an aiight drop, keep elevatin and droppi.~1~