::..a Tribute to my Sister..::
 

"stay up sweetie itll be all good one day, youll overcome this obstacle"

flowers wither, death creeps up unoticed like snakes that slither, drinkin so hard u might break ya liver//

life giver of two, dark skinned babies, eyes-blue, i love u more than u know but yet i despise-you, u must rise-through//

tha turmoil and abuse, stoppin makin that excuse, sittin spittin written wonderin whats tha use//

grey goose downed-in-whole, tha bruises and bumps crown-ya-soul, movin slow like u bound-in-snow//

afraid to speak now u dont wanna leave, so i do pity you and still i grieve, take a look at your kids then take a moment to breathe,look at ya life and tell me what you see//

u need not be beatin-on, who you think hes cheatin-on, not just you tha kids too, i know you seek-tha-sun//

one day itll peek through, i know god will seek-you, u need that man that wont hesitate to treat-you//

proper, emotion bunched up and stuck like a stopper, mom says your roommate u should drop-her//

but i believe its tha man whos trippin, stay wit him and youll continue slippin, into darkness where youll fit-in//

loosin a loved life to quiteness and fear, u need to speak when your near, cause his problem is clear//

dont be frightened ill listen, kids dont need to hear tha bitchin, dishes thrown from tha kitchen, every day wishin hed listen//

i know ya dont want tha kids to grow up without a daddy, but even more i know u want to be happy, tired of screamin "dont slap-me"//

i know u dont wanna be a single-parent, though u shouldnt cling-to-merit, i just hope and dream-you-bear-it//

keep ya head up cause one day itll be diff-erent, therell be no more menacin, tha sunll shine through and you can reclaim ya innocence..

Man this was so deep i love this piece dawg nice vocab n ya lines n rhymin scheme were so effective nice openin line to grab the readers attention n an ending that makes ya go wow

Overall 9/10 keep it up dawg u got mad skills

thanks for the replies.uppin~1~

uppin this yall dont sleep on this shit its real life shit.~1~

This stuff is constantly happenin. Either ppl are sleeping or newbies post there crap and expect a reply. This was a great and deep peice. The emtion was well shown. The structure and flow went well together. Older or younger sister that has kids and is in a bad relationship? Well hit me up cuz i'm curious on how this came to be. Again great peice. Spect JT

thanks for tha replies this piece is gettin slept on too much,yall wake up!!~1~

That's quite sad. I dunno why it percieved it in such a sad way. I think it's more the mood i'm in at the moment than anything else.

I liked the format. The stop-start. Yet it kept a flow (albeit slightly abstract...or maybe that's also about my my mood and current perception?..hmmm..)..

Anyway a very fine piece. It brought with it a certain atmosphere. Which layed down a certain level of emotions.

...resp....

appreciate tha replies, this is quite an emotional piece for me but i appreciate tha replies, still bein slept on too much.~1~

that is a very touching, and truthful piece right there! i know many people who have been through that. i WUZ one of those kids. my mother finally got my father to listen. so it makes sense to me. but it is also touching, because, not many people are fortunate to get their man to listen. and i have experienced that too. this touches me very deeply.

i have a song RIP DESIREE that is about this. one of my closest friends when i wuz younger wuz a girl. and she had an abusive boyfriend. and i made tha mistake of beating tha shit out of him and he killed her. so i returned tha favor to him. but i wuz smart about it. i had witnesses and it wuz considered in self-defense, i only got a yr and a half... but i still feel partially responsible for her death. so this song touches me on a deeper level.

yea well my brother in law obviously just became abusive, but he wouldnt kill her cause he knows something would happen to him, and itd probably be my moms, well anyway thanks for tha replies.~1~