"Lifes Outline" - Stratus
 

"Lifes Outline"

Nothings Ever Rushed, The Winds Calm
Imagine Holding The World In Your Palm
Being Able To End Struggles.. & Poverty
Racism Abolished, And Happiness To See
World Wars Disbanned, One Big Gathering
Of All The Countries To See What Peace Brings
Slaverys Gone? But Still Enforced Legally
9 To 5.. Yet Your Not Over Working Me?
Kids Yelled At, Downed, Dissed And Slapped
But When They Achieve Your The First To Clap
Woman Battered, But Still Incist You Love
They Might Forgive You, But Will He Up Above
Six Year Olds Kidnapped.. People Stealing Dreams
Raped And Killed, Blood Flows Like Hot Springs
Honest Opinions Takin As Disgusting Insults
Hate Is Inflicted By Our Elders, Its Not Our Fault
Taught To Say Whats On Your Mind..
But When We Do People Find Themselves In a Bind
The Worlds Engulf In The Green, Tis Bout Money
Poor To Rich Changes The Weather Cloudy To Sunny
New People Come Around And What To Be Friends
But Convo Drains Like Cash & Its Gone In The End
Take Your Own Advice.. And Actually Dwell On it
Slow Down For A Second And Think For A Minute
Stand Still For A Chance And Let Everything Stop
At The Bottom Of The Totem Pole?....
............................Flip It And See Whos On Top


...To Much Drama?

yo man tight piece for just startin here. like rhyme scheme here and ur content was good, flow and multi's were down and ur structure was pretty tight. u aslo did a good job on stayin on topic. keep droppin bro.

an if u got time check out mine and masta C's collab "disguised by Death" and leave us some feedback. muchly appreciated thanx in advance. peace.

word appreciate the love i'll reply to your peice now. thanx alot bro, alot of cats are sleeping.

yeah i agree....it was a pretty good piece...it flowed pretty well as i read it, it didnt really fall off....you had some good multies....your vocab was decent i thought...structure was good too...i liked the content you used...had good metas as well...overall it was a pretty good piece...keep at it...and keep dropping.

and if you get time time check out me and SynTexts Collab called "we tired", its much appreciated, thanks.

THIS WAS A WONDERFUL READ YOU CAN TELL YOU HAVE THINGS THAT LACKED BUT SEVERAL ASPECTS OF YOUR BARS OVERSHADOWED FLAWS YOU CAM OUT ON TOP IN THE LONTG RUN WITH A REAL GOOD PEACE......STAY UP

tight as fuck, the best read i've read today, your flow was good your vocab was good, with a good structure....keep it up

i dont agree with the rest

it wasnt all that tight, its just a cool drop
cud work more on yer flow and delivery, the delivery was ur main downfall

concept not too original (but thats nothing really)

just work on a better delivery


Woman Battered, But Still Incist You Love
They Might Forgive You, But Will He Up Above
^^^ i was feeling that line tho, no doubt about that, nice shit

cud b better tho but not bad of a drop
7/10

How can you tell someone their delivery is off, when the rhyme scheme is perfect? & Concept not original? .. I'm talking about life .. that doesnt ever get played you reject.

You cant diss someones open mic, its their view on life, a battle verse is different.

Clown stay out my open mics.

who said it was a diss? was I dissing you?

calm da fuck down, i laid an opinion of what i thought, every man is entitled to their own opinions

i just thought it was okay, ive seen better shit thats all

and ive seen too many spits about da same shit
"lil kids gettin kidnapped, children getting beating"

if u wanna b original, talk about UR life, what u've been thru, or ur days is only spent on da computer?

its my opinion nigga, jes learn to accept feedback