WiZe WoRdZ
 

CHECK THIS R.I.P. poem i wrote to the man who gave me the best advice ever......

CHECK IT
Juss like an old friend tol' me// if i were wanna make it and be an OG// theres 3 things u need in this world// The money, the power, and then the girl// the streets is mean but like he said all i got is my word and my balls// when u a ghetto soldier u always on call// i give back wat im given//the love for livin, and the dropped writtens// even if the worlds close to an end im never mad// he'll always be the best friend i've ever had// ~PEACE~ 4 ScArFaCe

the content was good it sent out your pain, but the spelling
threw me off so in some parts I could not understand what you
were trying to say.

hmmm...sorry i really wasnt feeling this piece...atleast it was short..but to narrow with depth and i honestly dont get into the whole cash money gangsta writtens...ahh but i guess we all have different cultures.Im trying to think what the rhyme scheme here is but i cant find it.... Get your head out of a movie face reality..

werd

I have trouble feeling these gangsta writes also, but I dunno... This one had a message (not relevent to me, but still present aye) .. it did have a loose rhyme scheme..

Id have to say, the format really detracts from it though.. There is flow there, but the style in which its written strangles that. And, spellcheck.. yeah yeah, but nothing does writing more injustice than poor grammar.

yeah i agree with the grammar part, try rereading it a few times. also try putting it down in a different structure, it can really make a piece. try expanding on some things, get in it deeper, and make us understand better, make us feel it, this didnt really have any effect to it. stay up.

~Tera~
DONT HATE