Droppin a Verse
 

Lyrics n weapons when spirits be steppin i got explosive words,
Your in for it, steppin to me and get ya mothafuckin dosage-served,
My mic is my sword and my lyrics my bible, hear-it-n-rivel,
I got betta instincts then a Spirits-Survival,
Try usin.. Something new I leave you lumped-n-bruised,
Another cut for every fucking assumption-used,
Coc-n-rap, I'm hopin-that my potent-rap is pumpin open-caps,
Your smokin-crack n ya wackness makes me wanna give u a broken-back,
Its like I'm God automatically im turnin-ya-wack,
Now u a good nigga earnin-ya-crack RE learnin-ta-rap,
My spittins-able to make u choke like bein strangled witta-rope u
unable to cope im hopin u dont babble-n-croak when u battle-the-
dope,
Leave u flatta then Hope crushed by my street justice,
I gotta lotta skill when i plot ta kill so aint no way u can touch-this,
Getta betta style or get raped by a pedaphile,
Like I said I'm God and I'll be Dead-a-While,
Then commit to ressurection I'ts the best-protection,
I set off an aray of vibes that press-ya-neck-in,
Not a "fiend" of violence but ill "CRACK" all of you stupid-gays,
Dirty chumps wit lumps n bumps now I'm sick of ya putrid-ways,
My spit-flows like blood from a ripped-nose when my Fluids-Spray,
You think your "ILL" I think you have-a-'disease',
You neva had stamina and now im stabbin-ya-knee's,
This is My pay back from when u laughed-n-you-teased,
I can fuckin out Rap-u-wit-ease so now get bitch slapped-n-say-cheese,

just for looks sake, drop the hypens...
aight the topic was simple enough and you stuck to it
flow was off and on...structure was bad... get them lines to match
"fiend" and "crack" should not be like that because thats 2 far fetched of wordplay... you need thins like
Im a "male" man when im in the "post"
^^makes no sense but follow me?

it was good but work on that
if you would be so kind peep
Sureal Ft. The Realist - Face Down

yo thanks for the tips real, check it out....

take-me-back, u never could rap and now your lately-wack,
you think somethins stolen, but ill show ya what this fake-g-lacks,
talent n words that connect together better then ya significant-other,
you dont have the right to call me bro. whe aint friends n got diff-er-ent-mothers,
cant even believe in the fact you've been called-poser,
you'll know the truth when suddenly its all-over,
rarely-feel what ya gettin at cause ya barely-real,
battlin me like fuckin up a very scary-deal,


not really any wordplay or whatever just a quick drop...
peace.

okie. good verse..needs some work...try and keep yourlines together though, like...

Then commit to ressurection I'ts the best-protection,
I set off an aray of vibes that press-ya-neck-in,

u^^
replay...

Then commit a hormonious resuection of my suited perfection
Shooting arays through vibes clinchin your neck to a combustion

summin like that...i figured i'd try an help you out as well...keep it up man. later

need feedback

one piece per day.
[closed]