Criminal
 

The Mod closed my other thread (:flipoff:said I'm only aloud one thread
per day:wtf:) So I posted it again.


Beat --->(Eminem - Criminal) ((Guess where i got the topic???))

Serial killer iller then hannibal lector wit spikes fa teeth,
I'm a fuckin asshole maniac that likes ta beef,
I'm out on the kill every night when lightning sounds,
Fill ya head wit vivid images and frightning clowns,
Came outta Jail but i Never Fail So call me the CON-fidence,
I can turn u insane or make u one of me wit one-sentence,
Ima menace wit endless Weapons steppin and murderin hurbs,
Your words are in slurs and now your the third ta win Birds,
Give you some acid so it can teach u learn how ta fly,
Your entire Family and every house is burned, now ya die,
It must be the drugs that turn me to "CRACK-HEADS",
Witta metal pole i settle holds and faggets get Smacked-Dead,
Im packin-gory-fates, Im busy tonight, You rappin-for-me?GREAT,
This is basically what ya lackin-story-states,
You'll battle me n I get accused of that statutaury-rape,
Cause you get ripped and flipped over ta swim,
Dont bother me now i gotta fuckin poser ta skin,
This fuckin kid wacked out now and im sober as him,
Now it dont really matter what this fagget says,
Smash u wit a beer bottle n slice u wit the jagged edge,

I dunno just started listening to the beat and decided to add my own verse. Let me know what ya think.
[]Deace

That Smiley face was supposed to be :wtf:

decent piece......i dont know if clowns are that frightening though....

i like the whole kill and murder thing...nice touch...99% though will say its not good because its not seriouse.....

since when was rap seriouse?...thats what i say....

i give u a 6.5/10.....but im a tuff rate'r.....its pretty good to be above a 5....
why not hit up
Real
and drop some feed back on it...pc*1*

thanks for the feedback
and just so everybody knows Im not some killer gangsta. lmao.
Any one that raps on the internet is not a gangsta. anyways
thanks carson
still uppin for feedback

This was pretty good i thought...It flowed pretty well i thought as i read it...i liked the multied....wordplay was pretty good as well...your vocab was alright...structure was pretty well on it...content was alright....i liked it, good read...overall it was good, keep at it and keep dropping.

and if you could return some feedback..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=87982

i think your lyricall dose was an 8 on the scale great punches ill word play and "IT" is a frightning clown FOE SHOE good shit bro

uppin for feedback