Hot Shit (yall Gotta Check This Out,and Feedback Would Be Nice)
 

HOT SHIT


Yo,yo, you must want "drama", trying ta fuck with the "king"//
you need ta wear sunblock to guard you from the "heat" that I bring//
Ill let you see the light like a "lantern", cause I keep that "green" in the jungle like a cheeta or panther//
Im a "Heavy Hitter" and ive had "enuff" of this shit//
"whoos squad" wants war, cause its "terror'' i spit//
I keep chips like Microsoft, you dudes just "micro soft"//
and its bullets that I send yo//
you stay inside watchin the world through "Windows"// not "Bill" but ill send you to see them "Gates"//
I keep 50 in the bank like the United States//
I am sweetness, like "Waltor"//
"Payton" ill put your brains on those walls and pavement//
you cant "Bear" to see white rip the mic with such force//
I " see biskuts" like the movie bout the race horse//
I stayed " Paid In Full'' an ill never be "State Property", all up in the air got these damn feds watchin me//
call me "MJ", cause when i "shoot" you "Jump Man",like land fills , cause the pund will "dump" man//
i aint havin no "Bull"//
cause im a "Wizard" with the "Heat" dun//
the "Magic" i pull will put "Bullets" in your "Cavs" the size of the "Sun"//
yall smerf dudes like "sonic", ya need ta duck and run// cause i got bullets that ell "Pierce" your back like Pauls jersey// you wanna play for the lakers but muthafucka you aint "Worthy"


CAN I GET SOME FEED BACK ON THIS PIECE.

Hmm..all your quotations kinda bugged me out at first...but not all that bad..could use some work, but with practice, I guess...

Favorite Line: Ill let you see the light like a "lantern", cause I keep that "green" in the jungle like a cheeta or panther//

Try to make less references..you dont need to word play everything to make a good point..but, overall, it wasn't bad..
Keep it up..

ty nigga i understand what your sayin, thx. uppin

somebody fuckin give some feed back, goddamn sleepers.
UPPIN

what the fuck, man somebody rep this, im sick of all these godamn
sleepers, FUCK. UPP

good shit man, you had a good flow and some nice multies an punches, try to keep elaveten like us all..an i garentee you'll inhance your vacab and your work will even open your eyes peaz