can i get some feedback on my thoughts? I am reall eager to hear what you pros think
 

When the last breath get's taken away, 'til the last man layin face up watch his soul float away, through the pearly gates or hells flames, questions of man that has been asked ever since the earlier dates, what the don't understand the fear, pour beers and liquors for my men caught in the game, todays it's sicker, these years has changed our thought from our brain, stay blunted, so we can see the next plane and get things where we want it, time stops for no man, but slow it down with the fruits of the earth, what some use and some abuse for it's worth, praise the birth of a higher being, whose word is all some need for that higher feeling, puff lye and dealing, rotation of the earth get's paid for, cause money makes the world go round, that's what I'm seeing, hearing sounds of 4-pounds bust and shells scrape stone, I'm reminded I'm a player in this game, and I'm out for the throne

this was a pretty good read, you kept the flow for the most part, your structure needs work and your multis, but not quite sure about the content, not bad vocab, yeah not a bad drop.......keep practicin

check this if ya would........
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...&threadid=88249

THIS WAS A DECENT PEICE HAD POTENTIAL JUST NEEDS WORK POP