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-   -   Parental Guidance (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=88504)

Token 10-29-03 03:41 PM

Parental Guidance
 
This Is Also A Soon To Be Audio As Well As Fictional Peace...

World Of Drama Adicts And Shameful Tactics
Lives With More Problems Than Complex Mathematics
The Fact Is We Get Wrapped Up And Snatched Up
In That Material World That Makes Us Inject That Crack Up
The Problem Is We Only See, The Fake Lifestyle Of Sitcoms On TV
Leads Us To Believe That It's Normal To Do Adult Things As Teens
Teachin Our Children To Do Anything To Make The Green
Bad Influences, Kids Lose It, Get Too Wrapped Into It
Now They Make Acceptance For Every Mistake And Finally Ruin It
Get Caught Up In Peer Pressure, Completely Freeze On The Spot
Gives In And Next Thing You Know You Gettin Calls From The Cops
Sayin Your Child Was Shot, Gang Related Drug Deal Gone Bad
After That, How You Think You Would Feel As A Mother Or Dad
To Let Your Kid Go Without Any Kind Of Guidance Or Direction
Lecturin Could Have Paid Off Instead Of Goin About Problems Without Any Type Of Mention

Token 10-30-03 12:26 PM

uppin for some feedback

Token 11-01-03 06:43 PM

uppin

.D. CYPHA 11-01-03 06:52 PM

this was a rare piece that i have come across that i read and it really flowed---nice work

MonStar 11-01-03 07:23 PM

nice drop i was really feeling it...flow was good, vocab was pretty good...structure was good and the content was great...really liked the whole message behind it...nice drop and it left me wishing it was longer...keep dropping son...

if you get a chance could you check out my latest open mic and hit me up with some feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=88578

fgee 11-01-03 07:26 PM

flowed well until the last few lines when t slowed down abit
liked it though
good message behind it and flowed well for the most part
liked the opener
did it welll
although the topic was a bit played u put your own stamp on it
props

Token 11-01-03 07:28 PM

Thank You For The Feedback And If Y'all Can Reply To My Other Piece In My Sig... Fictional Peace...

Menik 11-01-03 08:06 PM

Yeah i liked this piece.....it was a good read i thought.....it flowed pretty well through out it, got sketchy at the end, but still good ont he flow though.....your vocab was nice, nothing wrong there....your structure was nice.....had nice multies.....overall this was a good piece...keep at it.....and keep dropping.

LiL Phokus 11-04-03 02:22 PM

Audio
stick to the text
cuz I read some of your shit
and if any body dig your style shit
then niggas is crazy

.:alliK:. 11-04-03 02:30 PM

yeah the flow was aight
a bit short but nice...
good vocab, keep droppin


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