2pac
 

i wish people would shut the fuck up about 2pac
the man is dead because he got shot
i like his music but he is just a carrot
for rabbit to eat and for hampsters to share it
it's time to move on and get out of his service
lets idolize some people who really deserve it
i usually don't diss the dead
unless the dead got a big head
in that case i'll pop it with this pin
and air will come out and next i'll do the chin
but air in ones head is a fucking sin
and in peace he rests with a coffin made of tin
how do i know? i checked
and i did see the body, yep, it's on deck
and the roaches did disect
the inside organs and and now the skin only rests.
don't mind me the man was good
but will em get as much crdit as 2pac could?

man you really need to elavate...its funny how you dissin a rapper...kinda intelligant but you have hardly any vocan an wut not in this piece...you need to elavate before you critisize others...for reall...but all in all this piece had an okie flow but hats it...peace...3/10

The message in this is Ok....I mean 2pac is a legend and you made a good point bout eminem at the end. People who are'nt fans of 2pac will think this is great....2pac lovers will disagree.
Me personaly think 2pac is great....but I'm more of an eminem fan (check my avatar). So this struck me with both sides of the arguement.
Anyway most of your rhymescheme was good but you need to be a bit more creative. Here's an example:

the man is dead because he got shot
i like his music but he is just a carrot

You should of put somethin like:

the man is dead because he got shot
nobody thought he was hot when he was alive, and he's still not

^^^See what I mean...it just adds that cuttin edge to it. This was the main flaw right the way through this peice. Keep practising and you'll get better.
Overall - 6/10

Check out my piece, it's further down the list....it's called 'Mom I'm sorry'

thanks for replying. i do agree that my piece is a little demanding. i mean he made it and he was huge, it's just that people need to stop talking about him.

thanks for the critiques

hmmmm...

Dissin a legend. I happen to respect pac, but if you're going to diss him, thats alright wiht me i guess, you have your own opinoin. Ummm...Your flow and vocab, eh, they were down, way down. You needa elevate on everything. You had a good choice of topic,but as LM said, make your lines more interesting. It gives more imagery and keeps the readers more entertained. So up this and it will be fine, i'll look out for your other peices.

Overall- 4/10

i cant believe it good idea but if you're going to do something do it big not even a lyricall dose 1/10

I couldn't believe what this nigga was saying abou't Pac
Another jealous one just because they take so much time in there rhymes and still can't come up with the shit pac said. So i dissagree with that shit and your post.

i agree why are you dis'n, your structure, wordplay, and especially vocab need evevatin, your flow was alright, but thats the strongest point the rest was weak
................aight dawg

I dont really care about disin but atleast dis a person that could actually react. I under stand that you tired of hearing about 2pac but damn he aint did shit to you. Ya flow was kinda boring and half the shit you said was kinda lame and untrue except the thing about eminem that is a good point.

2Pac is legendary

Ur wack...

No vocab..
No good concept..
Topic..was lifeless

Elevate..

garbage... extreme garbage, no vocab, no multis, nor wordplay... u suck n thats a compliment, its not even the fact that u were dumb enough to diss 2pac on a fuckin internet site, like anybodies gonna see it or care, but its worse that you're not even good. Matter of fact don't elevate, just leave rap alone...