Dawn
 

Life is unfair.
Coping is hard…too hard.
Why?
Why is it fair for someones life to be taken?
Why…
And for them to be completely innocent…
Its murder. Somebody stole her life.
I didn’t even know her and she is gone.
She changed my outlook on life
I’d see her, smiling, laughing…
Made him happier then I had seen him...ever…
She was a sparkle in everyone’s eyes.
And just like that, no warning, she is gone…
It isn’t fair at all. Darkness always seems to prevail.
Dawn seems to take forever to come.
But when it does, I’ll be waiting…
I’ll harness the light.
I have to, ‘cus it only lasts for so long…



In memory of NMJ, someone i never knew but touched my life in a way that i couldn't have expected...

this is touching
and a very well written piece
simple put and got emotions across
let pain out and put it in a way that other ppl could feel
relate to
even in so short of words
you drew a great picture
and had good detail

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Good peice. You could feel some type of emotion from this peice, and just about every line was able to jump out and grab the readers attention with ease. No real flaws to this peice at all. Overall, nice job with this peice.

thank u

I agree with everyone. This is a great piece. It is full of emotion and very well written. The structure was good, and it the meaning really touched me. It is like the most innocent people are the ones that always seem to be taken, and whether you knew them or not, they touch you in ways that you never thought possible. Same thing happened with some people that were at my school, yet I didnt know. Guess it doesnt matter who it is, it happens. Overall Great job. Keep em comin. Much respect.

lookin for an in-depth critique, if possible

hello?