Neva Let My Knees Buckle
 

(my bad- i forgot to put my replies in)--just 10 ---bein whte
---Rnc---for the cause--
word perfect---ultimate competition




i could tell it was a bad day when i woke up late for work//
had to go in and start my day right away wit paperwork//
gettin paid to go baserk-FUCK IT!! I'M GOIN POSTAL!//
nah, gotta keep my cool and do what i'm suposed to//
gotta keep my head on straight-keep the bills from being late//
i got 5 mouths to feed and gotta keep food on their plate//
everyday i make mistakes! but yo i'm learnin lessons//
and if i learn from my mistakes i'll be the wisest in my profession// but right now, i'm livin check to check broke as fuck//
needa change of luck cuz i'm about to destruct//
the human tickin time bomb-next to be on the news accused of pipebombs//
or snipin' from the rooftops wit rifles drawn//
but the safest way to kill someone is when i write songs//
cuz 25 witta "L" is way too fuckin long//
i stay strong, even wit the weight of the world in arms//
and neva let my knees buckle, MOTHAFUCKA BRING IT ON!!

this was a pretty nice drop playa u had some nice bars wit some good vocab...........but u should change your structure up....paragraph form makes it harder to read

i tried to go back and seperate the lines like you said-it looks a little better--the main thing is, it rides perfect to the beat though. i appreciate the feedback!

I really appriciate that cause I'm basically the same now
I liked the words and I measured the pros and cons of crime on occassion

lol nice drop good way to express yur self but im sorry vocab wus ight umm up yur multi syablles a bit more but nice drop ight flow up lil bit more werk u be strait wid it umm ill give u a 7/10

uppin 4 feedback

Hey bud, can you post your replies to three other peoples stuff? Its in the rules if you need more info.

Thanks.

This peice is ok, a little short and cudda bin elevated in certain places. Vocab was a little weak I think, and some of the rhymes are played.

Keep droppin

this writting is good i know i am a beginner but i would like to show u whati got

thanx 4 the feedback...uppin 4 more

this verse was ok...kinda basic..try usin a bigger vocab n work on your structure...had some nice lines just a lil to basic