.Narrator.
 

My boi's bak on tha block again wit tha cops watchin him knowin they throwin stones talkin he's pushin rocks again and im watchin all of them...

He's puttin the hustle down im writin his struggles down he tryin to stay above water and im watchin him drown but i'd be damned if i with held my hand frrom pullin my boi back ta land...

Im hesitatin knowin i shouldnt interfere with tha stori im dictatin but i cant an he like a relation so while my minds debatin my boi was waitin in the water and wadin wit his jeans takin water an weightin...


..yea yea im gonna get a bunch of replies sayin that i shoulda replied ta sumone's shit first been there dun that....i aint new i juss couldnt get in on my other name...(ModestlyShi)...so im gonna start replyin i juss couldnt wait to post..... ya kno?:banghead:

This piece seemed more like a rap or freestyle verse than a poem, but i was feeling the topic and attempt
the rhyme was simple, and i prefer more complicated things
i think it would've been better if it was longer
but this was ok,
keep elevatin

k this piece seems incomplet, it doesnt end, and theres not too much info in it to make it a great ass piece.

it did have its flow and some structure, but not enough plot or emotion. make me feel it and branch out some so we see the whole story, and understand better

~Tera~
DONT HATE

sadly ur rtie...it is incomplete...and i will rewrite it an finish it i juss needed sum responce on it first...thanks fa the words

uppin fa repsonce...

Good drop. Did seem like a rap more than a poem. Structure was ok, in my opinion coulda used a lil work. Agreeance with filed. Too much info without ending to understand. But I understand how u wanted to see ppls reaction on the first part of it. Finish it up and post it so we can see it. I'm sure it'll be a great azz piece. Overall great job so far, n I like wut u got. Keep it up. Much respect.