in need of some serious help!!
 

ok i was ok at writing rhymes n shit but then for about half a year i didnt write or record anything cuz i was too busy and now im getting back into it and im horrible..some one please help me out here.

heres a off the dome thing i did a minute ago:

I cant take this shit anymore and im about to break//
earth shattering confusion im loosen My Mind how much more of this can I take//
My lifes at stake, contemplating my own life//
A Razor blade to my wrist another tear drop with every slit for everyone who dissed//
I cant think because im loosing my self//
Faster and faster im falling into space I don’t think this is good for my health//
Ide ask you to read my mind and tell me what you think//
but you would rather turn the page//
sayin im pussy like pink//
got me confused an now I cant go to sleep//
I need a shrink//
Make my problems smaller//
Before I go insane and grab my hatred taller//


.....yea im that bad..... :(

first make your lines fit
you have some small lines, and some large lines. Try and keep it all aligned aight.

like this:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx//
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx//
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx//

You might have to start re-arranging words to make it fit, but soon it'll come natural

ok, thanx

well if you can pop out the long lines and make em rhyme and make sense with the small lines its aight

also lose the // at the end of ur lines thats hella played put somin like .... or leave it.. it makes ur lines look better structured and easier to read

Yea, like MethodZ sed, try and use differant endings to be more original.