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I Wear A Cross
I wear a cross around my neck, a symbol of my beliefs
It helps me keep a reality check, its sight is such a relief I tatted another on my arm, this way i carried the bane So I could never be disarmed, it was really worth the pain This whole world is my domain, the city is my sandbox The devil may be able to outwit me, but him i can outfox While im barefoot without socks, with life i have handles So this fight i will ignite, untill he blows out my candle Im strapped like a sandal, and prepared at every chance I stared into the devils eyes, when they told me not to glance Said it would put me in a trance, my head is clearer than ever Now i can accualy think straight, it was my greatest endeavor The devil thought he was clever, but couldnt touch my wit Washed away by the undertoe, from all the wetness that i spit |
This Is Good. You Just Need To Work On Your Structure.
You Are Getting Better By Leaps And Bounds. Just Keep On Working At It. ANd You Will Capture The Skill! |
nice,
i like way to show your belifes' i dont know how you could improve really besides keep doing what your doing |
thanks... uppin
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fuck me dead, this was awesome..... i loved your rhyme scheme, you had the flow shifting between internals and end of line... if oyu know what i mean... it worked well... your vocab was good, rhymes were good, and you kept the topic consistent and it worked well... just add some multis in... thats the only thing i found faulty... but still, this open mic was dope... keep writing
9/10 check out my open mic "Mind Theory" please... thanks |
up
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not bad
but no where near your best capabilities rhyme scheme i liked...suited this piece well content wasnt bad...but was a bit basic i guess this was keyed?... 'So this fight i will ignite, untill he blows out my candle Im strapped like a sandal, and prepared at every chance I stared into the devils eyes, when they told me not to glance ^best lines and it had some decent imagery in places props |
fuk what they said..ur gay
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word? eat my dick... hoe
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this was tight fillin that rhyeme espically the way u talk about your beliefs
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i like that shit it was tight man if give u 8.5/10 man I tatted another on my arm, this way i carried the bane
So I could never be disarmed, it was really worth the pain i liked that line good work |
Closed. Read the rules.
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