retaliation
 

never had i felt so much pain...
oh why?
why must it happen to me?
please answer...
please be my guide...
please help me...
my heart is on the edge of sanity...
i cannot take it...

LOOK AT ME!

i am a poor excuse for mankind...
will you let it be?
of course not, that is weakness...
so you have killed me...
a knife stabbed in the back...
it does not hurt...

REVENGE!

do not let me come...
i come with but one purpose...
you and you alone shall die...
by my hand...
are you ready or will you run...

FACE ME!

the deed is done...
i may rest...

NEVER!

i cannot rest...
too many wrongs must be righted...
be my guide...

...im sori if this offends u but i reely dunt get it......i mean im not dissin..im juss lost ta tha cause

good drop. well put and straight forward. message is felt and i agree with u 120%. one day we will have our revenge. that day will come soon enough.

MM

Good drop. Structure and everything is nice. Message to me is as the analysis of when something happens to you, the mixed emotions that you go through. I agree wit ya totally. Revenge comes one day, and u'll have urs. Overall, great job. Lookin forward to readin more of urs. Much respect. Keep droppin.

ur were close @ missingangel

but one thing u missed was tha end of tha poem where i have completed tha deed, i had gotten my revenge, but it was only one revenge upon many more...not just one big revenge as a whole that i will have in tha future, nonetheless good analysis otherwise...

shi : it's ok if u don't get it, i don't blame tha weak-minded...lol, jus playin wit u...

::bows:: pleese forgive my weak-mindedness..i reread it wit sum time to think about it an yuh it is a good drop...im all for it...and things are still yet to be completed...

you never fail to keep bringing poems in your own style, even without a name im pretty sure i coudl figure out that it was you that wrote this.

it was a unique piece, and the topic was not something you see here everyday. and you painted it out well for us to understand what you were saying ( well most of use, minus the weakminded lol )

i agree with the ending, and i thought it was a great way to end it. as good as it may feel to pay someone back, i dont think there would ever be an end to getting revenge on everyone that hurts or does something wrong against us.

the flow was good and fit the piece, and the one liners added more of your emotion and feelings to it.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

This reminds me of a peice I wrote a while back while in extreme pain over something. I too wanted revenge. Oddly enough I found my relief in Church. I guess I'm telling you that because I laid in my floor asking those same questions you opened up with... my peice had those look at me, I'm pathetic lines in it as well. May jus be wishful thinking, an I wish I could remember what it was I was told, but really, it was original and a good peice. Straying away from the norm always keeps me hooked, nice drop, peace

simple, sometimes the best things in life are the simple over looked things like the originality of this poem. Great drop, raw emotion tied with the style really came across and was kinda like setting the complete tone in itself. no big words mixed with deep phrases but the poem was just standin by itself(in a good way)
i really like the way you can look at something

ha ha i feel like i'm worshipped, naw just playin, thanks for tha feedback though...