my first post!
 

I remember Listening to Pac when I was young ,
His lyrics was like the rise of a sun//
Something special which you cant forget,
Even though he dead he still da shit//
He was a Thug , But he had a lot of love,
To me he was a legend as he gave me a little shove//
Further a head In life an taught me about the streetz
He give me a mic an he gave me my beats//
Noone will ever be near as great as PAC,
So wanksta’s Like Ja stop tryin to be a Big Shot//
You couldn’t be him , stop tryin to wear his shoes,
Your beter off givin up rap an start singin da blues//
What am I saying, fuck you couldn’t do that neither,
Lost little boy , Rap bout ur own life an stop bein a cheater//
Rapping about how nobody loves you, fuck
No bloody wonder, u getting a deal was cos u probably gave irv gottis dick a suck//
This is a song for pac def not for Ja rule,
But Im letting da fans know that he aint neva gonna rule//
If he does there must be sumthin wrong wit ur brains,
he must be pumpin fuckin poison through ya viens//


Justa quick rap , what do yaz think?

come on people !!!!11 even if it bad just say i can improve!!!

OKAY...i aint gona bother givin a verse feedback on this....
But...it seemed to be a moderatly good poem...

u need longer lines...and u need to set a good flow pattern....

after u get that done, improve things like internal rhymin and multies...

after that, ul have some skill....it just depends how ul use it....

then...THE MOST IMPORTANT....Ditch the Tupac shit cuz it wont gain u any respect....

I love his shit, and im a fan...but i would never write a verse on him or mentionin his name, unless i was asked to....
Holla my shit...give feedback..!!
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=87346
Keep droppin man...its the only way u get better....Good luck...peace..!!

2 choises:

-stop rappin

-elevate on your concept, pick another topic, be original, so.. elevate on everything...flip some lines, read other shit, learn goddamned

Yo fam keep dropin if ur shit dont improve over a matter of time u'll know when to stop
iight
-100-
-Supreme-

Nice start man..keep working on everything..over time the flow with come..never give up..peace

Dis was a nice piece. It's good dat Pac inspired u to rap. If I could start it all ova I would pick Pac as my inspiration. da one rapper dat inspired me since I was like 12 is Jay-Z. When I forst heard da Hard Knock Life Vol. 2 I was feelin Jay-Z. And to dis day I'm still listenin to Jay-Z. Cant wait fo The Black Album. Anyway keep up ur shit man. U started out like me. I had short lines and needed to up my vocab a tad bit. I been gone from RB fo a while but I'm back and ready to do dis. Good for a first.