Contradict This (peep)
 

Yo there aint no tellin what kinda shit you'll spit,
Callin me wack then rappin yaself u damn hipocrit,
You Tryna land punches wit me n I split your fists,
I dont like death but I'll make you wanna slit your wrists,
How you gone make fun of me when you aint fit to diss,
I could call you a pussy or tell ya girl u have a clitoris,
I hit your miss as u lisp wackly like left right and centre,
You can call me a rapper or a damn white inventer,
Inventin words that go "together" so i get you 'RIPPED',
Claim to be a gangsta when u runnin from that one speck u lipped,
I got some 'scripts' in mind and I'm bout to make a respectful flip,
If u aint no Goth then why u lickin the blood from the neck u bit,
Hell this kid might as well invent another halloween and become dracula,
Talk about flippin 'shit', u couldnt do that in a toilet witta spatula,

Just a Quick Drop
Some feedback would be nice, thanks.
peace

nice... sum good battle punches....... i liked it.... keep up da good work playa.......

uppin for feedback...
And just tell me if u know what the topic has to do wit the verse

there wasn't no good battle punches here. .I can relate where you are in your path of elevating. .Next you need to try & use longer more complex words & stop using wack punchlines like them in open mic untill there good. .

A good punchline is clever wordplay or metaphor. .Considering its only open mic there the only type you can use. .

Pz.

yeah, i liked the concept, but i agree that you need more complexity, and punchlines aren't too important in open mic, try good word play and some good multis, with a good topic.....aight peace....

the same as Pot sed....But, U need to elevate a LITTLE bit, BUT, when u do, Im sure ppl will respect u if ur cool..!!

Theres not allot that needs Fixin, maybe use complex words, use words with more syllables...I liked the "dracula/Spatula" line cuz it was a good usage of syllable-istic words...!!

Maybe use punches thatle be usefull for the topic...And try what Me,Cam,Pot1ent and Ayura use, Allot of internal multiple rhymin.
Used mostly by us 4 dope UK mc's lol...
Non the less, it was a good piece...props....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=87346
Holla mine blud...!!