To the rydas (dick rydas of course)
 

Keys~
Now I'ma give it to you straight cuz I don't cop no pleas
Vital, name also known as Keys
Wit enough rhymepower to put you to the D's
And you can see ya whole death on my TV screen
How you wanna end it?
Wit the cops and the Feds
So I could cock back
Empty out the back of your head
Do a quick one, go head
I'm quick wit the Mac-10
Shoot through the car
The crew
And the captain
I ain't got the guts to snitch
Talkin bout what ya crew is
And forgot to mention they bitch
Ain't much to talk about
Heaters is gold wit red snouts
Ashamed to see we gave one to ya child
Slugs penetrate horrendous
Tremendous
I'm the principal shootin kids leavin em suspended
KILLA KEYS

work on a better flow, structure and concept wasn't a great piece at all but certainly not wack
5/10
please return the favor:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89596

uppin for critizizin

The structure of this piece wasn't there at all. The flow also wasnt too good because it was off at a lot of parts. You had really long lines, and then a short line that rhymed. The topic was good, and a lot of the vocabulary that you used was good, but the structure and flow were off. It was a good piece, but it would be better with a different structure and better flow.

structure like how it was typed? because that's how i wrote it, it's like the LOX...read it again, it flows nicely

It might flow nicely to you because you wrote it. You know how you want it to sound. Not everyone else does. I'm not hatin on it, I liked it.. but the flow sounds off at places.. some of the words dont flow as well. Maybe to you they might but to me they really dont. Get what I'm sayin?

Yeah i get you black...i knew that since the beginning... check this dude out in tragedy due to hate and hit this up tellin me if you think he can beat me or not.

3/10
Needs Work
Ya Flow Is Off
And The Material Is Blah
Work on The Things That
You See Vets Do
Then You Should Be Good