|
Talon vs. PaleHorse (Topical)
Subject:
You sit by the window, alone in your apartment in a big city. Weather outside is rainy and dark, barely anyone outside. Describe how this weather and whats outside reflects your mood and current events in your life. We'll Spit tonight |
Sometimes they say rainy days are miracles, or movie weather too
but forget gifts or flicks, I'd give it all up to be removed from this gloom I'm tethered to this precipitations a razorblade feather doom, tickling until my blood is trickling watching the puddles thickening through my window mourning all the simple things this Sunday morning the drizzle binged, becoming a rancor downpour turning the days name ironic, each raindrop splash making both my faith and the ground sore plauged by the sounds of Gods tears gracing my window sill, but between strikes of lightning I see a lonely soul outside, and he looks just like me...damn I think it might be hes fighting, trying to coax a hit out of this tightly packed pipe dream his daze was hazed still he tried to sing his days away, until the winds of the night screamed and like steam his temper rose, raking ember coals through his mental December snows yet even though flakes werent falling outside...within they fell, melted, and helped his death erode owning more than a gentle hold on the ebb of soul sunshine squandered aspiring to be a father, a far cry from the life of a one time daughter marauder with a crooked posture, this small offer author penned his spirit into my vision and crafted my eyesight into the symmetry of falling fluid with a minimal incision I'm centered on the wisdom that when the rain dries, the eyes do also so I'm biding mind as well as time to find out if if I've placed my faith in false hopes. |
Thunder n smashin light-en-ing crashin
life left me gaspin dont know what happen watchin the world but the world jus keeps laughin not in the physical this enemy im battlin Its the storm on the inside thats got my soul rattlin my sins come against me and they just keep on gatherin The Darkness ready to consume Like fat dudes at the drive thru orderin off the dolla menu this venue, of the games da same hasnt changed brotha's still tryin to kill each otha since the days of Able and Cane I pray ta maintain to the point I nearly beg but its pointless like Talons dog dry humpin your leg. tryin to make it da city wit a hope and a dream dat aint gonna pay for da heat or give me somethin to eat in a place where instead of hello people rather piss on your feet this ragedy apartment feels like lifes crescendo but hey, thats jus my veiw lookin out my window |
nice flow on your pale horse............................................. .................................................. .........................................
|
uppin 1-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
struc/pale
finisher/pale opener/pale vocab/pale wordplay/pale multi/pale meta/pale vote/pale hey wheres that fool bleach at mother fucker pulliong a no show |
NOW I WANT PPLE WITH 200 OR MORE POSTS TOO VOTE NO LESS OK sfdgsdf dsfsdfsdfsdfsadfsdfgdfgsdfasfsdfaDfwfs
|
OH NVM MAKE THAT SHIT PPLE WITH 6 OR MORE WINS asfsdfdsfdafsdfsdfsdfsdfdsfsdfsfsdfsdfsdfsdfSDfsdg sdgfsdgsdf
|
Talon.....
hes fighting, trying to coax a hit out of this tightly packed pipe dream his daze was hazed still he tried to sing his days away, until the winds of the night screamed and like steam his temper rose, raking ember coals through his mental December snows yet even though flakes werent falling outside...within they fell, melted, and helped his death erode owning more than a gentle hold on the ebb of soul sunshine squandered aspiring to be a father, a far cry from the life of a one time daughter marauder with a crooked posture, this small offer author penned his spirit into my vision ^ NICEE Pale Horse..... The Darkness ready to consume Like fat dudes at the drive thru orderin off the dolla menu this venue, of the games da same hasnt changed brotha's still tryin to kill each otha since the days of Able and Cane I pray ta maintain to the point I nearly beg but its pointless like Talons dog dry humpin your leg. ^^^^ LoL oh noooo both of you were good! to break it down...... kinda hard here honestly my vote goes to.. ***drum rollz*** Talon! |
nice pieces from u both....Pale had some good imagery...and nice flow....u both stayed pretty well on topic....talon ur verse was good...but it looked too chopped up and ur concepts weren't really vivid.....but here's a breakdown for u two....
BREAKDOWN Multis - Talon Creativity - Palehorse Flow - Palehorse Vocab - Talon Metas - Tie Consistency - Tie Imagery - Palehorse Overall - Pale mostly got this because it's a TOPICAL....if it was a battle talon would've gotten it....Pale had better imagery and nice concepts to his verse.....talon had a more "Battle Style" type of verse....no hate on either of u though....good read.... Hit This Up: SmokaJoka666 vs. lyricalcontent peace 4:20 |
uppin 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
Much nicer format and read by Pale Horse. He brought some real good metas into it and incorporated some nice imagery. Talon came good too and I really liked his "pipe dream" line. That was great wordplay. But overall, he was pretty stretched and came with some filler that Pale didn't have. Good outlook on the topic from both, but I just liked Pale's better. Thanks.
|
Eh yo! This is Yaz's breakdown, check it:
Flow-Pale Multies-Talon Structur-Pale Volcab-Talon Wordplay-Pale Enjoyment-Pale Overall-Pale [Pale Horse] My vote goes to Pale cuz he kept his flow strait you know. ------------------------- [Talon] This was realy good... But u can't be lookin in a thusorase for everygoddamn word lmao... but fo real dawg other than that i would have voted u. ~Hit Dees Polls Up~ Yaz vs Nitemarre Yaz vs junio sixnine K33P iT Cr@cKiN YO, Peace (\1/) |
This should be over but yaz forgot to hit up the poll vote so need more uppin #3-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:14 AM. |