off topic
 

mutha fuckas talk mad shit.
im juss speakin mah mind.
niggas are only out ta hit..
but im grabbin wuts mine..
bitches claim gangs...
i hold down the spot...
dry snitchin givin names....
i speak nuthin an kno alot....

...but thas off topic...

new age ninjas creepin thru dark
shogunate explorers that aint never seen the worlds other part
we only kno the block wut else is for us
greek play wit violence off stage wit a roc a fella chorus
poets are called rappers so we feel more hood
so we address each other instead of a bow its 'wuts good'
long ago we traded our swords fa the nines
ornatmental armor pawned over fa shine
anglo saxon warfare between rival blocks
empires toppled, castles fall from gunshot
all the time we sae this is new
but poets of old would simply say 'maybe ta you'


i had to edit the word 'expolers'...i meant explorers.....

I liked this... It was pretty easy to follow and your description was good. The flow was the best part to this. It flowed so well, every piece just fit together like a puzzle. Nice job.

Umm....this piece bludgeoned my mind like taking a cannon ball to the ear. I was stunned at how much i liked this, all of the ninja-ish terms painted an incredibly vivid picture of deep crimson and purple silk and compared complexity of the old to the simplistic depth of now, astounding, great drop 1luv.

THE PIECE WAS HOT.....IT HAD ALOT OF IMAGERY AND IT FLOWED REAL WELL. EVERYTHING FLOWED TOGETHER, KEEP SPITTIN....

thanks fa tha words...varentao..of course u kno i want u to grace me with ur opinion if u ever read this...but thanks fa the words...stay up -shi-

....this is my shmeless uppping......uppy uppy uppy....sumone read it.....

yo, nice shit, tha aspect of a poem i didn't like, it was tha way it was written that i simply though was mind blowing, it gave me a sense of a ninja master teaching me, just wat i fealt as i read tha second part...

peep minez if u can then i'll peep more of urs...

You drew some interesting parallels between past and present. Interesting from the historical references you made. And how you used them.

It was quite good to read. Allowing the reader to dig with relative ease. The unrelenting 'attack' right at the start. Using a kind of hard hitting irony. Really set the mood for the whole piece. Very well executed.

"poets are called rappers so we feel more hood"

"all the time we sae this is new
but poets of old would simply say 'maybe ta you'"

^Just a few lines which stood out. Though there were quite a few

Your approach was intriguing. Execution on the edge.

..resp..

This poem was delivered extremely well. the language use was...not magnificant but very well done.
The use of language made up in narrative descriptiveness what was lacked in imagery...but I don't think this was about images.
However, I do think that with the steps you took for the vocabulary use in this you could have gone that extra bit to polish it.
just an opinion.
but it was alright.
.peace.