RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Textual Releases (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=5)
-   -   Uncanny (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=90662)

R Dub Da Uncanny 11-09-03 03:16 PM

Uncanny
 
i spit thug passion
blastin, with black gats
why you askin
why im rappin
crazy assassin
mackin, you on you back when
i start clappin toys
and "thats what happened to that boy"
i cause terror, see me in your mirror bloody mary
shit is scary how im hittin you up,
pause momentarily
to catch my breath
breathe easy on a track
skeeze easy on a "batch"
please hit the trees till my lungs collapse
my baby girl got my back when i need it
when i'm weeded i'm concieted and i wont be defeated
see it
my shine blinds and my rhyme leave you paralyzed
you on your back cryin with your eyes focused on the sky
time to die if you doubt how im rippin it, bitch you must be trippin
cuz i'm hittin you with venom listen
i bet you wishin that you never spoke my name
provokin pain when i see you
and no, hoe this shit aint a game
cock and aim
try not to hit any children
but like the Taliban, i'm bringin down the whole building
i'm so chillin, so why you stay fuckin with W.E.B.B.?
i've give you brain damage with a slug stuck in your head

LcREP89 11-09-03 07:15 PM

shit hott

Menik 11-10-03 04:09 PM

ok...first off you need to work on structure...you should try to make your lines around the same length, not short and long like you have, it just made the flow off a bit...try using some multies and internals to help out the flow...Overall this was just ok i guess...keep at it...and keep dropping.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:46 AM.