Someday
 

Forlorn attempts, to perch upon the throne of my reveries,
Have left me unsatisfied with my present state.
I want what I can’t have, for what I want is only fantasy.
Tho I know the end is far off in my maturity and understanding,
I will stumble upon my dreams and smear them over my reality,
One day..
And everything will work out,
Like it always does,
In a happy ending…

I'm tired of saying good work and that it was good so I'll be real and we'll talk...


but if you cannot control your dreams then how can you want.
however the fantasy of it all sort of lays it on the table...
interesting vocab use....smear.
You are coupling dreams with fantasy... surely one must be closer to reality that the other.
but it's an understanding of what cannot be understood so the fact that you can give it an identity deserves reward.
You should be happy enough that you write about conscious dreams because otherwise you'd be having trouble sleeping...
I can relate to this poem...at night....
I always say 'I'd rather deal with dreams than reality...so I drink coffee and smoke ciggarettes"...

the ending was very appropriate.
.thanks.

I'm tired of saying good work and that it was good so I'll be real and we'll talk...


i appreciate that...

but why do YOU say "thanks"...it should be the other way around.

thanks.

of everything I wrote you you replied to that?
lol...
fag.

and I thanked you for the ending...
when i say something so graceful..just accept.

ok well here are my thoughts behind the piece. my inspiration.

i tend to think about girls, before i get to know them well enough, and i build them up in my imagination, thus making them a perfect FANTASY.

Then i dream about it until i actually meet this girl and realize she is nothing of what i thought her to be. and i am disappointed.
altho deep down i expect myself to be disappointed.
that's the jist of what i thought about what i wrote it in english class while we were learning about John Donne, who is actually an incredible poet.

i CAN control my dreams, but i choose not too, cus my dreams make me happy. and i'd rather be happy than let my mind wander off into other deep thoughts that i can't rationalize and therefore depress me

whatUP.........

Good work. Structure and everything were ok, scheme and everything doesnt really matter. You got your point across, if ya wanna put it that way, and thats really all that matters. I'm feelin this one, and I liked it. Keep it up. Overall good job. Much respect.

thanks. what is ur response to my response PHILO??

very short piece started off with some nice vocab, and then the end fews lines were short, almost if you were slowing the poem down. unless u didnt mean that. nice drop


aiight peace

i did.... in a way.

thanks. what is ur response to my response PHILO??

????

That I think the poem was good.
I think it's a lot of energy put into pre-analyzation of a girl and I understand how high hopes can be shattering sometimes.

But you seem to put much faith into hope.

good for you