Goodnight My Angel
 

Wrote this a while ago when my friend Sean Died.

Goodnight my angel,
I'll be waiting to see you again,
Its a better place for you in heaven,
Now its time to say goodbye,
You'll always be on my mind,
You taught me things no one else could,
You did things for me no one else would,
You helped me grow emotionally,
Watched me grow physically,
I watched you grow into a man,
You were right there holding my hand
When I got my first heartbreak,
I wish you would sit up, wish you'd wake,
I dont want you to leave me,
though I know it has to be,
When she saw me, your mom cried more,
What she said next, one couldn't brace themselves for,
"Stephanie, thanks for coming.. Sean always loved you,"
I choked up then, started bawling, I didnt know what to do,
I embraced your mom in the hugest hug,
At that moment I could feel all this love...
Her and I loved you Sean, what more can I say,
I'll love you forever, and even more each day,
Goodnight my angel.

7/22/02.. RiP SeaN T ByrnE

^^word...i'm feelin this piece....i've also went through the same shit (ask Rapid)....u had good emotion...and thought here....ur vocabulary lacked...but other than that nice...here's my fav. lines.....

^^that's the truest thing i've read when put in a situation like that....good work...

BREAKDOWN
Emotion - Excellent
RhymeScheme - Very Good
Vocab - Good
Originality - Very Good
Concepts - Very Good
Overall - very nice poem from u....u had emotion...a good structure except towards the end....it consists of originality...only thing that was even flawed was ur vocabulary....good work...

Rating
8.5/10

peace
4:20

...thanks! ...keep 'em comin!

i don't think this poem should be "judged" or "critiqued."

This is simply YOU coming to terms, and writing about the death of a close friend. for that im sorry.

The fact that u wrote this from the heart makes it a beautiful piece of poetry.

my blessings go out to ur u and ur friend.

Thanks a lot.. i've never had anyone put it that way. but thanks.. :)

don't get me wrong, i enjoyed the piece and it was well written, but i don't think it should be judged in terms of "content" "vocabulary", etc.

u wrote from the heart and that's all the matters, in my lowly opinion at least...

yup i understand what you're saying though, and i appreciate it highly. thank you for the reply.. :)

Great job again gurl. You have a talent and ur usin it. Once again i can totally relate. Everything was awesome on this. Structure, everything. Keep up the good work. Most respect.

i know what it is like to lose someone you love. this was very emotional and personal pices. you talked about how hard it was to loose him but you also talked about the good time you had and that what makes it special. good work keep it up

thanks yo.. i appreciate all tha comments :)