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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   life (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=91457)

Sublime D 11-13-03 08:29 AM

life
 
Divine pain
when will my losses yield my gain
while now I lie beaten by the rain
i still spit real shit, always livin my name
sublime, worthy of awe and praise
my only release from the daily malaise
i possess a flow like the nile
string multis for miles
the words that i compile
product of my livin trials
will leave all in denial
of skill-so-raw, yet- still-so infantile
i am no evanescent
my blessings are omnipresent
yet i fight for my legend
people can't understand my lessons
they need tutorin
My metaphors have them stressing
wanna turn their computer in
Yet and still i boast
about how i burn mcs like toast
about hwo i represent the east coast, buffalo
i still try to establish my flow
i still try to teach those who don't know
im ready to stop but still i go
the river of shit will always flow
so i paddle, from open mics to battles
leaving concious thought rattled
and now i prattle on
prolonging this poetic song
i could flow all day long
but that would be wrong
so now i end
pointless as i when i begin

Sublime D 11-14-03 06:53 PM

...someone reply

Twizted Ayngel 11-14-03 06:56 PM

DiDNT seem MUCH like POETRY to ME. more LIKE an OPEN mic OR something OF the SORT. Nice rhymes though, the internal use and the last-word-rhyme. I dont know.. it doesnt seem like much emotion was put forth.. but i like the structure of this.

DthsMissingAngel 11-14-03 08:17 PM

Good job. Does seem more like a rap tho. Even an open mic. But i think its iight. You get ur point across and dats all that really matters. You chose a great way to tell ur life story. Mainly ur passion as most would put it. Overall, good job. I liked it. Most respect. Keep em comin.


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