If I had the chance
 

If I had the chance, to spread my wings
I'd take everything away with me
get out of this place I'm living in
cuz I'm tired of being forced to live in sin

If I had the chance, to let you know
how much I care and love behold
push beyond the feelings that eagerly grow
walking down the road that I have chose

If I had the chance, to give you the world
you'd have everything and you know you would girl
spend my whole night promising you things
that a heavenload of God's couldn't even bring

If I had the chance, to take it back
I wouldn't own a second and that's a fact
just to keep what we have in tact
closing my eyes just to see black

If I had the chance, to have you here
I'd give up anything just to have you hear
how much I love you, with your ears
my only purpose to eradicate your fears....

If I had the chance, to live a new life
without this body, and a pair of new eyes
of course I'd take it, but that's just me
and I know still that yo ass love me


^ what I got so far for an upcoming spoken word poem track I'm doing....lemme know what u think...

its alright, its difficult to find the flow because a few parts have rythym while others do not, but still good content, 1luv.

Wow. Dis is a kick ass drop. There is nothing wrong with it in my opinion. You have a lot of love and feeling into this and not too many guys can do that. I loved it. Kinda speachless on it. Not too many ppl can do dat to me with poems. You definitely got da talent. I'm looking forward very much to see the completed version of it. I'm sure that it will be 10 times as great when its finished. Great job once again. Most respect. Keep em comin.

^ thanx...I like getting that kinda crit..actually makes me want to finish the poem lol....

but to the person who said they couldn't find the flow....try a little harder..cuz I wrote this to a beat...and it flows perfectly..b/c while it is a poem keep in mind it's gonna be an audio as well....but neway thanx for the replies

0H W0W! My babi dropped something that was HAPPY! :D I love it.. but yeah, onto the crit..

The flow.. was DEFINITELY there. Maybe its because I know you well enough to know how you write, to understand the way you do it.. but the flow was sicc. You used nice vocabulary. The choice of words was right on in every line of this piece. Can't wait to see the finished piece babi..

Nice drop. Much love.. :p ;)

^ awww shucks your just saying that...

lmao jk love u too

Everything was there and I seen no flaws. I don't care for structure or any of that crap. If it means something and the emotion is there thats all it needs. Great drop. Keep going and let the mind flow free. Spect JT

thanx man....

very nice flow. i loved this piece i think that it i was a very good drop and i really enjoyed reading it. it defental had enothing flowing throught it also. nice use of vocab keep up da good work

Re: If I had the chance
 

I'm jus responding again because I was reading this for the millionth time and I just read that part over and realized its my favorite part of this. I dont know why, maybe because I just like how it flows.. its just nice.. You know I love you.. :) Once again, nice piece.. :love:

hehehe...I like poems lol