a new birth(short)
 

i was born from innocence
qrasping on the very delicate hand of life
created in the image of my maker
unwillingly flung into the sin that corrupts the most holiest of hearts
i didnt ask to be in this place of dispare and sorrow
i didnt asked to be concieved with the embarrasment of poverty sketched into my mind
called by life to be another posterchild for emotional disfunction
if i had only known the outcome i wouldnt have answered
for nine months of pregnancy i was sheltered from a reality i would have no choice but to face
i was giving a false sense of dependance that i would soon have to let go of
as the crisp coldness of breath entered my body i abandon
my purity for sin
this bitter cloth of wickedness covers us all in our personal quest for rightousness
i would assume life is like death leaving your darkened state to walk into the light

Good drop. Everything was great on it. You got ur point across and ur feelings as well. Vocab and wording were all good. A few parts i got confused on, but I understand the central view of it.

i would assume life is like death leaving your darkened state to walk into the light

^sometimes I think that as well. However, your darkened state is also part of your life. So maybe my view of it is a little different.

Overall, I liked it. You did a good job. Keep it up. Much respect.

appreciate the luv ......

this was a pretty good drop, above average, but i felt you didnt really say anything new or fresh to an idea that is already tired, but as far as standing alone it is good, 1luv.

i think this was nice.. cuz u got the point across n you're emotions n feelings seemed to be let out, and.. to me thas all that poetry is. Nice job.