Lifes Song
 

Out of my heart flows a single note
Ringing in harmony from that which I spoke
From memories long ago I wrote
This life a never-ending song
Pen struck melodies from times past gone
And it's never right it's always wrong
But the chorus always comes in strong
A high-strung chord leaving you wanting more
A low flat note that makes you choke
And a steady beat rising with the smoke
A message to a long lost friend
Good memories, times spent with them
The song carries on through all of time
This is my song, only mine
And the sound fads out as the audience applauds
As they all hum there own special songs

Good job. It seemed like you were going to rhyme, then not. Lil weird. But newayz, the flow was nice and the structure was good. You got ur ideas out and it was a good read. I liked the way that u put ur perspective of life together, as a song. Not too many ppl can see it in that form. However, I agree with it. Overall, I liked the poem. Keep it up. Good job once again. Much respect.

The poem flowed.. and the vocabulary you used just fit perfectly. Every word you chose was the perfect for every place you put it in. I liked this poem.. it just caught my eye and I'm glad I kept reading it. Niice job!

at first it seems weird that a song made to represent your life, lifes song, is so short. but its kept simple and doesnt fully explain things, more of a type where you were just playing with ideas, belives, and it worked fairly well. you have to read the whole to understand it, and its a good read. i thought you could have worked on your vocab a bit. but this piece is just basic and simple, nothing really to comment on. keep rising

~Tera~
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