writing to outside
 

3 fucking responses blah
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=92227
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...1674#post911674
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...1686#post911686

kind of a different peice not sure if i like it to much but whatever

Writin To Outside

Im directed..in directions to make life hectic
happy but im connected, ive allready stated im intersected
what more do u want, other then my forgiveness
im sorry baby, i know its my fault u have to live this
i live it to, and yes i hear u cry sometimes
as soon as i get out, every things gana be allright
sleep good tonight, and do u wanna know somethen
this is called my life, and i know it doesnt seem like much when
i got u, and all u got is a figment behind bars
i can apoligise all i want, but its my fault for this charge

chorus
im writing to outside, writing to my bride
im writing to stay alive, all because i got a a 5 to 9
ide rather die, then feel this shame
i stamp your letters, but i dont post my name
its even a shame to see that thing
for im in for stealing her a wedding ring

wishes chances, im lost in it, it seems
seams of the past overlap in my dreams
of life and things, turned down from all things
threads of fear and emptyness, are nothing to these beings
falls and bad calls, just me against the wall
i feel the monsters ball, throughout the cell hall
i just want out, for more than 1 hr a day
again i apoligise, fro death is the passion i lay

chorus
im writing to outside, writing to my bride
im writing to stay alive, all because i got a a 5 to 9
ide rather die, then feel this shame
i stamp your letters, but i dont post my name
its even a shame to see that thing
for im in for stealing her a wedding ring

well nows the time, i got 3 more days in
im not likin this, my stomach is feelin queezy again
i dont want you to see me like this
knuckles stained red, along with my fist
im a beast, i jus wanted to get married
to you but now my life is burried
and i cant take it, about who i am now
so these are the last words of someone
who lays dead on the ground

chorus
im writing to outside, writing to my bride
im writing to stay alive, all because i got a a 5 to 9
ide rather die, then feel this shame
i stamp your letters, but i dont post my name
its even a shame to see that thing
for im in for stealing her a wedding ring

there is no love, when there is nothing to up above

Nice piece, keep up the work.

checkd out my rhyme called' time bomb'

damn man, i want critiqing not a freepost

uppin for feedback

uppin

Yo that was some nice shit man could use some elevatin but it was still good

uppin

meh good read fix ure structure and flow