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19. Brixton (1-0) vs. 20. Junio (1-0)
Check-In's Due: Wednesday
Verses Due: Friday Votes Due: Sunday No Biting, Recycling, D/Ring. If you do, you will be banned from this league and possibly the site. Be sure to vote on at least 3 battles, and posts links in this thread. For each battle you don't vote in, you will have that many votes subtracted Your topic: 16 bars of innocence |
in..good luk junio
nice topic |
in. spitin sometime in the near future..
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I Gotta Tell It Like It Is.........................
.............Fuck Ridicule....This Is My Time *Sitting in a room with my computer, my silence...my gun* Line By Bar I Extend A Vow...Exprees My Emotions? Teach Me How ....Its Not Jus' The Past...I Can't Even Speak About Now...... ....Its A Destined Silence With An Eerie Flow Of Detestment..... ....To Be A Mute Beyond My Time Is Law Breaking Testement.... ....I Wish This Was My Mouth...Instead Of A Machines Keyboard... Tapping One Of My Thoughts Away,Like A Guitar Hitting C-Chord... ...But Gestures Of Silence Can Be Golden..Thats What I Told'Em... Jus Those Glorified Seconds....Wishing I Could Hold'Em..... My Minds A Bohemian Rapsody, But Without An End Production My Mind Teases Mouth....In A Full N Compelling Seduction...... Still No Sound From Vocal Chords...My Innocence Is Complete.... ...So Why Would I Write....A Sixteen Bar Defeat?.When I Meet... ......The Creator Of My Flawless Mute..Could I Dispute...?..... ......The Fact He Made Me Silent N Sent Me In To Refute....... .....See Life Among Tranqulity, But Only In Yourself....... ....Can Kick You Back In Time N Hang You On The Shelf...... .....My Usual Thoughts Take Me To 16 Bars Of Innocence....... ...But Taking My Own Bastard Life Has To Make This Different... You Can Only Go So Long, Putting Your Thought Onto Paper .....Everytime I Try To Speak Just Brings Another Caper..... Wait For A Bitter Silence...As I Begin To Decide My Own Fate .......How Can I Think Of Myself With Nothing But Hate...... .....See In The End..To End My Silence I Think I Gotta Die..... .......Its The Craziest Of Ideas But Now I've Gotta Try..... With My Final Thought On Keyboard,Think 'Bout Who You Are ....Coz My Last Ever Innocence Was Written In This Last Bar.... *Silence has been broken* |
sittin in the dark cell, staring out the window...
laying on my bed next to my robin feathered pillow im sitting alone at rest...missin my home, it was the best but im here until my heart stops beating in my chest its lonely in the dark, in the quiet cell alone i miss the ghetto park and callin girls at home "im gonna fight," i said, they gave me the right to death now im here alone, seeing moonlight on my head what did i do? shit, the whole thing was a mistake i was standing near a body, and i thought it was awake look how they find me, after the blue lights shined behind if i could only let them see the whole situation in rewind my hands were cuffed, suddenly i was a killer just standin there had myself locked up in a cellar now the days in my life will always be the same... teardrops in the night, wishing i hadn't stayed... i wish someone would listen, my painful sobs echo in this prison im here wishing...people have good lives, but mine isn't i wish it was a dream, but my true memories are hideous the door's 16 bars are holding in my innocence |
yea..
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both hit the topic well, but i think brix got this,
junio, your verse was ok, but it was a bit simple, flow was off in places and some lines could have been worded better, you didnt do bad, just not as good as brix onthis occassion, you got pottential...keep at it and you will get better. brix, youve elevated man, this piece was dope, liked the way you went with the topic, and your flow and vocab were both sick... overall real good verse, vote=brix be sure to check out my battle with skiddz, peace |
Brixton took this with a much better writer's voice. Both of them flowed on point. Actually, this was better than I ever could have expected from either of you. Great pieces guys...good reads. Overall though I think Brixton hit the topic better. Sorry for the rushed vote...I'm leaving for STL like..extremely soon.
Vote ~ Brixton |
EDITED.
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okay cool i suck.
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Vote- brix
feld his piece more, both had some nice verses, but brix expressed better..with some more better aspects.. |
NO YOU DONT SUCK JUNIO....NICE MATCH PZ
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I was feeling brixton more here
better imagery, metaphors and take on the topic junio was alright, but came too basic for my liking both had good flows and have potential though Vote - Brix |
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