39. MC Tactix (0-0) vs. 40. Nok'd Vision (0-0)
 

Check-In's Due: Wednesday
Verses Due: Friday
Votes Due: Sunday

No Biting, Recycling, D/Ring. If you do, you will be banned from this league and possibly the site.

Be sure to vote on at least 3 battles, and posts links in this thread. For each battle you don't vote in, you will have that many votes subtracted

Your topic: counter productive

aiiight.......Might as well check in now, show ya I'm eager

Let's go boy, just cause I don't post a lot, doesn't mean I'll no-show. Take me seriously... Counter Productive, I don't like that topic, but I'll make it happen.

postin my verse..........Keystyles with venom......................

COUNTER PRODUCTIVE


Why’s this?... Everythin I chose To Do Goes Wrong
No Matter How Hard I Try It seems To Goes Wrong
The Stamina’s Not up to Par…Killin The Feelin
When Tingz Go Wrong…Counter Production Has me Reelin….

Wht don’t we just sort things out…Time can be a healer You know
Why do the Kidz have to see this…Men in MY house,Thought I didn’t know?
I feelin the sickness…Nausea makes me wanna quit this Verbal Transaction
I must admit the feelins go…My love is killed, Missin In Action
But I wanna make the kidz happy…That’s my main and only Priority
But you abusing ya body with chemical Rushes…Always in The Priory
But the courts don’t see…That a life with ME would be better For Them
So someway we gotta come up with a negotiation…For the sake of them
I said you have em weekdays…I’ll have my time at the end of the week
I only pity you in actuality…Because without the kidz and me your weak
I can’t believe how this is goin…Makes me wanna look at you and say fuck this
Cos No matter what I do Negotiations are goin’…Counter Productive

Why’s this?... Everythin I chose To Do Goes Wrong
No Matter How Hard I Try It seems To Goes Wrong
The Stamina’s Not up to Par…Killin The Feelin
When Tingz Go Wrong…Counter Production Has me Reelin….

I know things went wrong but Fuck it…The kids are mine
I’m takin ‘em to my house…I’m their Father, This ain’t a crime
Look at you, Your pitiful…Grovellin for them to come back
They ain’t even left the house yet…And your settin up the crack
So fuck this…If I was you Bitch…I’d settle down Quick
I couldn’t take this…Hit her up quick with a blitz
Whack_Whack_…See what you’ve made me do, What???????
You’ve made me hit you in front of the kids…Heads getting hot
Pull out the heat…Bang Bang Bang 3 to the head and chest
Oh Shit!!!! This is the outcome of the stress and depress
So Fuck this…Come on kids we gotta go, escape this
This is just a case of the syndrome of love COUNTER PRODUCTIVE

I'll post tonight to match you.

High school was a joke, so as you could tell, I didn't last
Got my GED, so fast, just so that I could pass
I went on to choose another way of life
College out of reach, it seemed to be in strife
Jobs came and went, but it seemed impossible to find a career
If I went a week without work, the welfare of my future I'd fear
I worked at McDonald's, BK, and Taco Bell cause there I could get food
The only reason I quit my jobs there, was cause I got sick of the menu
The shit from the customers was something that I could take
But at 5.25 an hour, I was like, "come on, gimme a break"
And one late night as I settled in to stare through the TV
A job came on that seemed to be pertinent to me
"CARPENTRY" it said, in bold letters across the screen
Have a job helping others build their household dreams
The pay is great, the hours are short, with oppurtunities for a career
At this my eyes jolted open, to confirmed what I had to hear
I called up the number, and became an apprentice, in a short ammount of time
Then the job that I had to do was simple for a house, something I even had in mine
I made counters, for the house, and how simple that it was,
big ones, small ones, islands, whatever I wanted, because...
The plans that I had, didn't care how the were or where they be
So with that, I was filled with immense ammounts of creativity
And my job became an art, which I felt was seductive
and on my business card it now says David Jones:Counter Productive

Weak Battle...But lets get on to the voting.
Nok'd- Im sorry to say, your verse was weak as hell. Your rhyming with the same words alot, and your conclusion was as stupid as can be. I had no feeling of emotion at all from your verse.
Tactix- Your verse was a little better, you seemed to have rushed it, your flow was sloppy. Behind all that, I got a little story, but it seemed lost in your other mistakes. But it was alot better.

Vote-Tactix.

Nok'd
I was not feeling your verse that much... I see what you were trying to do with repeating the word but this was not the piece for it...id suggest cutting you line lenght some

MC Tac...
Nice approach to the topic...one line in particular had me laughing

I worked at McDonald's, BK, and Taco Bell cause there I could get food
The only reason I quit my jobs there, was cause I got sick of the menu

Anyway, your apporoach was nice, but you need to work on the overall strucuture of your piece...this was all over the place and the flow was off a few time...i didnt quite get the ending but whatever

Vote - MC Tactix

nok:
Your verse was allright, it lacked flow, and you didnt tell a good enough story and therefor hard to enjoy, Kepp writin and work on youre style
Tactix: Yours was aight and even though it wasnt that good it had the neccesary ingriediant to beat noxs verse, keep writin the two of you and both of you elivate as you show potential,

Vote: Tactix

Return favour please for my battle with deacon.....Peace

Peace

don't agree wit the votin!!!!!

Sorry, but I'm gonna go the same way as everyone else...

Nok'd...

Your verse needed a better rhyme scheme.

Badly.

Your story started out very cool, and as a father, I was relating...

Then you turned it into some gang-bang domestic violence sounding type of thing and pissed away what you'd built.

Looked like you hit writer's block and decided on a cheap, shock value type of way out.

6/10

Tactix...

Very basic and elementary verse on your part but you did something I appreciate...

You put alot of heart into it and I could feel what ya were going through.

And, you added a nice little twist at the end, utilized some wordplay, and ended your story on a good, positive note...

Rare ta see.

6.75/10

Winner: Tactix

Wow...

Nok'd..
That was a horrible rhyme scheme...that didn't really appeal to me at all..I didn't really feel your verse at all...The imagery was lackin as well as the vocabulary...you have alot of elevating to do...

Tik:
Weak verse as well but at least it was a little bit better...your imagery was faint and weak...but at least it was faint...also your vocab was fectched in spots but at least you used bigger words...

Edited to please certain people who have interesting opinions.

vote tix

Whoa... Settle down their Whitey, these kids are noob's, they are the last two spots on the entire thing, you don't need to go off and be a dickhead about it. And you aren't that great of a topical writer yourself, so don't go thinking you are big and bad, the only reason you have the title is by default... I would vote on this battle, but I can't for the fact that I know Tactix in real life, and I am sure he has logged onto my computer more then once to do RB, so to save a whole fiasco, I won't vote.

chhers bruv..................that guy'z a faggot...ha ha.......white lightnin???????????? fuck off......I'm here to elavate ya faggot, not fuckin win the heavyweight daft cunt off the world of topical writin you are........Fag

ohh shit....."Counter" Productive, ok drops by both....Nok'd Vision....you came hard at first and tha story was good, but you lost it around tha end..........pullin sum Eminem Shit, lol....and Tactix....i thought your ish was goin no where until tha end...close decision, tha breakdown:

Nok'd: Rhyme Scheme: 5.5, Flow: 7, Story: 7.5, Total: 20
Tactix: Rhyme Scheme: 6.5, Flow: 7, Story: 7.5, Total:20.5

tactix i liked tha hook at tha end "counter" productive, no hard feelins....my vote goes to Tactix, may tha best man win, and peep my ish, peace
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