Are you still? (please read)
 

This is a piece that means a great deal to me. Its a little short, but I would very much appreciate feedback on it. Theres not much flow, but I had to get these feelings out.


I love you yet was it a mistake?…
It seems like you push yourself farther away…
What is happening?…
Did any of your feelings change?…
I love you with all my heart…
Yet I wonder if I’m making a mistake…
Did I?…
Times get hard, I understand…
But can you tell me if you still love me?…
If you have interest in someone else…
Would you tell me?…
Maybe its just me, but all the signs are clear…
They say you have love for someone else…
Is this true?…
I’m wondering because I’ve been so in love with you…
Are you still in love with me?…
I’m scared because I don’t want to lose you…
So please, tell me if it is still true…
No matter what happens, I’ll never stop loving you…

i liked this one i liked tho words you used and how u used them. one of the reasons why i like it so much is because i am going throught the same exact thing. i thought u did a great job the flow seamed a lil off but overall i think you did a great jobs

I like it, it kinda hard to fully understand cause im sure theres no way to write the raw emotions you feel..

theres not much of a flow, but i think that might of been your point

But i get what your trying to say..

good luck working things out..

Thanks for the feed. I wasnt really thinkin bout flow and whatnot, just needed to get my feelings out. He did read this and reassured me that he loved me just as much. Thanks again for the feedback. Keep it comin.

tha flow was a lil off but the piece was ill because of all the emotion you put in it. niice ass job

you can tell this piece was written for emotion not for anything else, like you said, coz you can feel your pain, how lost you feel. and it is easy to feel, because so many ppl have felt the same way as you, and have asked themselves the same questions as you did in this piece.

this tends to be a topic written over and over again, but you made yours worth the read, althogh i still felt it could have been more unique in your own way.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Thanks for the feed, it is much appreciated. I was thinkin bout changin it a little to make it better, but im in writers block and cant think of what else to write. I'll ponder on it for a while. Thanks again for the feedback.

This was a great read. The emotion was shown wit a bit of confusion on how he feels for you. The point is shown and you got your feelings out. Thats what counts the most. I hope everything works out for you in the long run. Spect JT

Thanks much babe. Its all startin to work out the way it did once before. I'm not lettin this one go. Thanks for all the support and for the feedback babe.

I find it real strange..... that everything i'm reading today on RB is hitting so close to home
girl i feel you on this piece, i know how it feels
i dont think you should try and revise it, sometimes simple and just written for the sake of getting emotion off your chest is the best
.............i'm lost for words right now
nice piece, keep writin hun
in the end it's always for the best...hopefully

tite man
way to get your point across
im sure its something alot of people can relate to

Thanks you two for your feedback, it is greatly appreciated. Thanks again. Much respect to both of u.

Hey, nice work, i can never egt the feelins out without sounding corney or feeling exposed, good luck to you.

Thanks for the feed, I've been gone from Rb for a while now, but i'm going to try and get back up here and hit up some other poems.

POST WITHDRAWN

MM