Not Right
 

Time up done with the bullshit let's get into the music/
Niggas cherish foolish shit making millions off of touring/
Got a plan but my heads mess up tighten my screws/
Siting in a bar watching the old men sing the blues/
Forget abou't the jewels i rather buy a tech/
While you looking for the time i blow a whole through your chest/
checkmate i never lose my place brother keep faith/
Until the very end i would be at the front of the race/
Like my nigga said some of these phony's they should be dead/
Kill in the sleep or broad daylight one in the head/
Make my bed how they tought me in the army/
Not many blessing instead stressings my hand on my smith and wesson/
Got many fools guessing the thought of a mastermind/
I wrote this piece of a paper to cross out the niggas dimise/

yo dat was aight shit
yo structure was aight
good vocab
kinda simple but not too bad
keep it up dawg
one
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Yeah this was kinda simple....structure was alright could use some work though....flow was ok, off at points...add some multies and internals for the flow....vocab was alright, up it a bit though....overall i thought this was ok...keep at it....and keep dropping.

yo i like that shit.
good structure.
good flow.
keep that shit up. you can only elevate.


rate this please
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...?threadid=92646

had a nice flow... I actually liked this piece...
just next time... make sure you have a more advanced topic...
put a lil more content in on it...
other than that... Nice drop~~!
~AshY~

eyah i thought this was alright, could have been better, but then most could in some way or another, .......too short though....but as a whole it was ok

It was Ok. Not the best but not the worst.
Parts of the flow was off and it was a bit simple but structure was good.
Keep elavatin and keep droppin.

nice shit dogg