a lil sumthin sumthin
 

who wants to test me
who really has a chance against me
spittin flows for days and days until my opositions beat
you know the way i role, side steppin with swirves
lemme ask you a question
you got any last words?
damn right, im in this game for exsposure
dont worry i leave your crew alone, to deal with closure
I leave you six feet deep
lay you down to sleep
its not wise to rise when your whole rap games weak
im set to read your bitch ass like a blue print
dont fuck with this kid
his name is translucant
ya i know
this is just another story to tell
but you werent worth my time
or any fuckin detail

Far too simple here...

Get more complex...
Need a better vocab and wordplay...
Punches as well...

Go to WEC and read the tutorials

Yea, this was simple.. Elevate a lot more. Peace.. Keep workin

put somemore wordplay in der

some metas and better structure and you be aight

one

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yea man that's some real basic stuff. more complex wordplay and rhyme scheme, some more and better multi's would help alot to, improve on ur vocab and also ur flow was a little choppy, but for starters work on ur rhyme scheme structure and wordplay cuz that's way to basic. but nice try for first drop man keep elevatin. peace.

This was a really simple verse. It reminded me of the first one i ever dropped, but that oks. dont hate on this kid cause he is new, help him elevate!

You need to keep writing... read ALOT of open mics and listen to lyrics in songs ALOT more. It will help you see how to make your flows more ill and fill thenm with extras like multis and metas, that helps create a deeper meaning... its not a bad drop thoi, just kinda generic

ahhhhhhh!!!! the days of a newbie suddenly come rushin' into my head... elevate, don't jus write the first thing that comes in your head, as your new here, you won't know how much peps love multis, to define this term go to the wackness emergency center forum... keeo rappin' though...