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-   -   Man and Nature (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=93173)

Dr.Gonzo 11-20-03 09:42 PM

Man and Nature
 
Walking down a dark forest path
Thinking of distant friends and days long passed
Remembering damp dark nights of years of last
The stars the moon they hold the future
The shadows tell of hidden illusions
Muffled sounds talk of present reflections
The winds push dreams in all directions
In this dark wooded path I see my fellow man
Together we walk hand and hand
The trees tell stories of long ago
Of dying men who’ve walked this road
How they watched natures enchanting show
How they danced in the falling snow
So I climb to the top of the mystical mountain
The elixir of life flows from a silver fountain
Look in and you can find all the answers
And the clouds part and heaven and hell unite
And all is calm, all is right
I look down on earth a wondrous sight
And I close my eyes and say goodbye to the night

DthsMissingAngel 11-20-03 10:48 PM

Great job. The structure and everything was good. This had a lot of imagery. Especially walking hand in hand. I liked this. You got ur point across and like i said, had a lot of imagery in with it. You put madd emotion into this too. Kinda like wut u miss and wut ur totally feelin. I felt it. Good job, keep it up. Much respect.

.:LadySage:. 11-21-03 05:52 PM

this was nice
imagery was there, for me at least
i can't really do in depth how i want to now, but ill come back, believe me
but for now, nice piece
keep it up

~Tha Prophiit~ 11-21-03 07:50 PM

Hmmm... This piece was interesting. You used past experiences, and alot of different things, and put them together into a poem which for me felt almost liek a story. Very Nice. I liked the sttructure and the emotion and overall feeling was all there. Props on this. Keep it up.

Overall Grade:

8/10

Dr.Gonzo 11-21-03 08:19 PM

This poem has alot to do with past expirences with hullecagenic(sp) mushrooms

ive learned alot from these experiences and the 'Mystical Mountain' represents the amazing peak where you can learn alot of diffrent things about life and yourself

thx for the feedback

authenticity 11-22-03 09:24 PM

hey yo...just uppin to tell you that i really liked this and to keep writing


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