Outcast
 

A broad member of society, until the drama begun
Got convicted on possession of a lethal hand gun
I never shot anyone, just carried it for safety
But I still got outcast by the people around me
What did I do wrong, it was for protection
Now I feel my life has gone, in the opposite direction
Im sectioned out, with a criminal record
How can I shout? When you don’t even hear me lord
How can I afford to be so, stupid
I carried it as a thought, just like puff did
I’ve snorted my last breath in the streets I came from
I cry my last tears n hope I come upon
A mercy from some one to help me through
Shit, I’m just lying to myself what can they do?
I must help myself over-come this outcast moment
I must try n out last this un-healthy opponent
Like a warrior in a battle, I must find the soul within
And beat this outcast moment before it, starts to sink in

You need to drop links or names of the people you left feedback to or else this will get deleted...

But this was alright...You could have added some multies and internals to help the flow though but it was alright....it was structured alright, try to make lines around the same length though....your vocab was ok could be better though...overall this was alright...keep at it and keep dropping.

yea dat shit was weak u gotta just take ur time...or make it read the way ur spitten it ya feel me?? iight ONE
Da Ghost